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thedude wrote:Officer Eddie: (reading Steve Sax's license) Well well, Steve Sax, from New York City.
Officer Lou: I heard some guy got killed in New York City and they never solved the case. But you wouldn't know anything about that now, would you, Steve?
(Lou and Eddie laugh)
Steve Sax: But there are hundreds of unsolved murders in New York City.
Officer Lou: You don't know when to keep your mouth shut, do you, Saxxy Boy?
Skippyoz wrote:2. I forget where he is and who he's talking to, but Homer says: "Nu-cu-lar. Its pronounced, nu-cu-lar" to someone who probably pronounced it correctly.
Officer: Next weekend, we're having our annual war games. Now Simpson, because of your many years as a nuclear technician, we're putting you on a nuclear sub.
Homer: "Nuc-u-lar". It's pronounced "nuc-u-lar".
Officer: Oh, whatever.
Announcer: Attention on deck! Captain Tenille wishes to address you!
Tenille: [clears throat] I'm a man of few words. [pause] Any questions?
Homer: Uh, is the poop deck really what I think it is?
Tenille: [laughs] I like the cut of your jib.
Homer: What's a jib?
Tenille: [laughs, then speaks to announcer] Promote that man.
Tenille: Did you hear that? The whales are hungry. Homer? Join us.
Homer: Thank you.
Tenille: Tell me, young man, what do you want out of life? [While Tenille was speaking, Homer was busy trying to reach a bowl of peas from the center of the table.]
Homer: I want peas!
Tenille: We all want peace! But it's always just out of reach.
Homer: [moans] Uh huh?
Tenille: So, what's the best way to get peace?
Homer: With the knife!
Tenille: Exactly! Not with the olive branch, but the bayonet! Ha, ha, Simpson, you're like the son I never had.
Homer: And you're like the father I never visit.
Brockman: Could Homer Simpson be a communist? His father spoke out on his behalf.
Abe: My Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a communist, but he is not a porn star!
Skippyoz wrote:3. Homer is working from home, his computer starts up... the computer screen reads "To start, press any key." Homer responds (actually, I think its Homer's brain): "Hmmm, where's the ANY key?"
mweir145 wrote:Skippyoz wrote:3. Homer is working from home, his computer starts up... the computer screen reads "To start, press any key." Homer responds (actually, I think its Homer's brain): "Hmmm, where's the ANY key?"
Yeah, that was also in that episode I just watched. His entire interaction with the computer is hilarious.
Homer: [reading screen] "To Start Press Any Key". Where's the ANY key?
I see Esk ["ESC"], Catarl ["CTRL"], and Pig-Up ["PGUP"]. There
doesn't seem to be any ANY key. Woo! All this computer hacking
is making me thirsty. I think I'll order a TAB. [presses TAB
key] Awp...no time for that now, the computer's starting.
[reading screen slowly] "Check core temperature, yes slash no."
"Core temperature normal." Hmph. Not too shabby.
"Vent radioactive gas." [types] NO.
"Venting prevents explosi-on." Heeheee...whoa, this is hard.
Where's my Tab? Okay, then, [types] YES, vent the stupid gas.
[Cut to a farmer tending his corn. The gas release blows away
part of the crop.]
ironman wrote:Homer comforting Bart: "There, there. Shut up boy."
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