After seeing the winners along the inauguration route, the folks from
Texas have decided that we might just take matters into our own
Here is our solution:
#1: Let John Kerry become President of the United States (all 49
#2: George W. Bush becomes the President of the Republic of Texas.
So what does Texas have to do to survive as a Republic?
NASA in Houston, Texas (we will control the space industry).
We refine over 85% of the gasoline in the United States.
Defense Industry (we have over 65% of it). The term "Don't mess
with Texas," will take on a whole new meaning.
Oil - we can supply all the oil that the Republic of Texas will
need for the next 300 years. Yankee states? Sorry about that.
Natural Gas - Again we have all we need and it's too bad about
those northern states. John Kerry will figure a way to keep them
Computer Industry - we currently lead the nation in producing
computer chips and communications: Small places like Texas
Instruments, Dell Computer, EDS, Raytheon, National Semiconductor,
Motorola, Intel, AMD, Atmel, Applied Materials, Ball
Semiconductor, Dallas Semiconductor, Delphi, Nortel, Alcatel,
list goes on and on.
Health Centers - We have the largest research centers for Cancer
research,the best burn centers and the top trauma units in the
world and other large health planning centers.
We have enough colleges to keep us going: U.T., Texas A&M, Texas
Tech, Rice, SMU, University of Houston, Baylor, UNT, Texas Women's
Ivy grows better in the south anyway.
We have a ready supply of workers (just open the border when we
need some more )
We have control of the paper industry, plastics, insurance, etc.
In case of a foreign invasion, we have the Texas National Guard
and the Texas Air National Guard. We don't have an army but since
everybody down here has at least six rifles and a pile of ammo, we
can raise an army in 24 hours if we need it. If the situation
really gets bad, we can always call Department of Public Safety and
them to send over a couple Texas Rangers.
We are totally self sufficient in beef, poultry, hogs and vegetable
produce and everybody down here knows how to cook them so that
they taste good.
Don't need any food.
This just names a few of the items that will keep the Republic of
Texas in good shape. There isn't a thing out there that we need
and don't have.
Now to the rest of the United States under President Kerry: Since
you won't have the refineries to get gas for your cars, only
Kerry will be able to drive around in his 9 mile per gallon SUV.
The rest of the United States will have to walk or ride bikes.
You won't have any TV as the space center in Houston will cut off
your communications. You won't have any natural gas to heat your
homes but since Mr. Kerry has predicted global warming, you will
not need the gas.
The People in Texas
I'm not a fan of Bush or Kerry. I don't like either one of them, but I found these facts about Texas interesting. Repeated for emphasis.