Not sure what type of scoring system you're looking at, but I've gotta say, for a 12-team mock, your first five rounds were really great value. I'm not high on Montero, personally, but I don't have a problem with that pick.
Everything I read and all the rankings I've seen have Pence low-to-mid 100s, so I think that was where you went wrong. If this were a real team, you're relying on him as your second OF. I know he's done great things in the past, but he really struggled last year.
Your pitching staff seems like a good mix of Ks (Verlander, Morrow, Anibal) and ERA (Vogelsong, Verlander) so you should be happy at how that turned out. The one thing I see is a gaping hole in your OF, and in most leagues that start 4 or 5 OFs, you're probably looking at one of the bottom starting OFs.
Still, overall, I'd say it was a pretty solid first mock