jfg wrote:Madison wrote: I am sorry, but it sure sounds like there has to be more to this. You didn't say anything about your mental faculties other than you're "drained", so what's the difference between you and her? Meaning why can you handle it, but she can't? You know her infinitely better than I do. Might be a good place to start in order to figure all of this out, because there has to be more if you are honestly concerned about her well being and not overreacting or something. It isn't normal or natural for someone to lose their mind due to a 48 hour work week. <----- Read that last sentence again, because it cannot get any more true than that. So you need to figure out what the problem actually is, and address it. Make no mistake, there is no easy fix and if you dance around it, ignore it, hope it goes away, or can't figure out what it is, then it won't get any better. I honestly hate to say it, but it sure sounds like it's going to get worse before it gets better in this case. D
Madison, this is good advice. It just isn't helpful at all to hear what you said before. Maybe you meant well, but it was just infuriating to lay my personal life down in a public forum,something I very rarely do, and get ridiculed like that.
I'm trying to find some women who have been in the same spot. It's not the same if I was working 50 hours. She's breast feeding so even her breaks at work aren't a reprieve from the day. She literally has no downtime from 6am when she wakes up until 10 pm when I get home from work. We don't work the same schedule so I can't be there to lighten the load when she gets home other than on my days off. But, I do agree that I need to figure out if there's something I need to do for her. She hates her job even before the 8 hour change and I don't understand why. I haven't gone to her workplace but it doesn't sound terrible other than some bad management. She keeps telling me she's going to quit but I just don't acknowledge it anymore when she says it because we both know she's stuck there until something else comes along. I really do think its fair to use the overqualified card. She took it off her resume for five applications and received two interviews...two more than the past year of applications. These aren't law jobs, they're a lot of non-profit stuff, desk jobs, secretary, etc. We don't know why she didn't get one of the jobs, but with the other interview, they loved her, brought her back in to meet management, but they must have found her law profile online at some point in between because they told her they needed somebody who was going to be with them for life.
I agree with Madison here that the 8-hour bump in time isn't the problem (or at least shouldn't be). In fact, because it's time and a half it almost should be beneficial to her. However, it's clear that there is a problem here that needs to be looked into.
One thing I would say is that if the job itself is a problem, then your wife needs to get out and try to continue hunting for a different, and she should be creative in looking for different jobs. I know of many many firms who will hire outside of the field where someone went to college, even at the graduate level.
Also I would say that the problem could be something with your wife... there is likely a problem that has nothing to do with the job. Communication is the key (and this isn't always easy).