Subject: 15 at WalMart
15 Things to do at Walmart while your wife is taking her sweet
1. Get 24 boxes of condoms & randomly put them in people's
carts when they aren't looking.
2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5 minute
3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
"Code 3 in Housewares"... and see what happens.
5. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on
6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other
shoppers you'll invite them in if they bring pillows from the
8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and
ask: "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
9. Look right into the security camera, use it as a mirror and
pick your nose.
10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the
clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are.
11. Dart around the store suspiciously while loudly humming
the theme from "Mission Impossible".
12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using
13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
say, "PICK ME! PICK ME!"
14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal
position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!"
15 Go into a fitting room, shut the door and wait a while and
then yell loudly "Hey! You're out of toilet paper in here!"
Yes doctor, I am sick.
Sick of those who are spineless.
Sick of those who feel self-entitled.
Sick of those who are hypocrites.
Yes doctor, an army is forming.
Yes doctor, there will be a war.
Yes doctor, there will be blood.....