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KCollins1304 wrote:My Dad passed away about 5.5 years ago. I definitely know the feeling that you have. My mom hasn't dated at all since then and hasn't really seemed to have the urge to. For most of the time I have find of felt like that I didn't want my mom to ever date anyone again, only recently in the last 6 mos or so I have started to realized that it is what is best for my mom. My mom was 18 when she married my dad and he was the only man that she ever loved as far as I know, and I don't think she has ever had that much experience dating. My mom is 44 now, I can't imagine her living the next 30 years or so all by herself. I'm 22, and I have two sisters that are 18 and 16, so my mom has had her hands full with us and will until my youngest sister leaves the house and goes to college. Nowadays, I worry that my mom will go into depression once my youngest sister moves out of the house. It is a selfish feeling that kept me from wanting my mom to date again, but a completely understandable one. And I'm sure I would have some personal backlash if and when she ever started dating. I can definitely understand where you are coming from, you should really just be supportive of your mom though. It would make things even harder for her, if she knew that it was something that really bothered you.
nsulham wrote:I just can't get the idea out of my mind that it should just be her and my dad, no one else.
Madison wrote:nsulham wrote:I just can't get the idea out of my mind that it should just be her and my dad, no one else.
Curious, but why do you feel that way? Not saying it's right or wrong at all, just curious. I have no experience in that regard, closest I am is that my folks divorced when I was 18. I moved out the same day my mother kicked my father out of the house. Both of them remarried other people at later dates and I was happy for both, as I felt both deserved to be happy. My personal feelings on it were irrelevant, as it's their life, not mine, so even if I disliked the people they married, it was still irrelevant to me as their happiness meant more than my personal feelings. I also have an ex-wife that remarried at some point after we divorced (and I only know that due to a banking security screen), but that's cool for her too and I have zero issues with any of the above getting married again (which obviously is much more serious than just dating or having a companion to spend time with).
I know divorce and death are two different things, so maybe that's where the difference is, but I don't understand why you feel it should just be her and your dad. Any chance you can shed some light on it, or is this one of those things that I just won't "get"? If it's the latter, that's cool, I just thought I'd ask. :-)
KCollins1304 wrote:That is the difference. In a divorce, people are choosing to not be together. When they aren't together because of a death it wasn't their choice to not be together.
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