A little girl: was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher: said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated, "Teacher, Jonah was swallowed by a whale."
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, "Teacher, when I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".
The teacher asked, "But what if Jonah went to hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him".
A Kindergarten teacher: was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.
As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what she was drawing.
The girl: replied, "I'm drawing God."
The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."
Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."
teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face."
"Yes," the class said.
The teacher then said, "Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?"
A little fellow shouted, "Cause your feet ain't empty."
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching."
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note and placed it on the cookie platter, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples.
There will come a day when Barry Bonds leaves baseball, and everything about the game will be the better for it.