I'm glad I found this... may I present to you, Maxim's Top 10 Baseball's Men of Mustache:
10. Rod Beck
His eyes say no. His mustache says, "Sure, if you're cookin' ribs."
9. Goose Gossage
Scores points in the all-important "breadth of mustache" category. His 'stache was/is as wide as the ocean is deep. If his mustache were a continent, it would be Asia; if it were a beard, it would be either Liza Minnelli or Clay Aiken's "assistant."
8. Don Mattingly
Donnie Baseball was a disciplined hitter. His mustache was equally steadfast and unflinching, often grooming itself between innings.
7. Jack Morris
Like he'd have been anywhere near as imposing on the hill with, say, 90210 sideburns? If you're a would-be ace, your choice of facial hair is more important than your choice of an out pitch.
6. Sal Fasano
The Phillies impose no tonsorial or, um, mustachial restrictions on their players…
5. Sal Fasano, circa August 2006
…but the Yankees do, forbidding any facial hair below the lip (the franchise thus lacks both soul and soul patch). Credit goes to Fasano for semi-skirting the rules, managing to conform to corporate mandate while still remaining merrily slovenly.
4. Wade Boggs
His mustache arches sharply, majestically down the slope of his cheek, much like the wings of a 747.
3. Al "the Mad Hungarian" Hrabosky
Between his forbidding Fu Manchu and his apoplectic stomping about the mound, Hrabosky must've had a hard time making friends during his baseball heyday. Legend has it that grown men and young children alike cowered in his presence, dropping to their knees in a futile attempt to deter him from pillaging their peasant enclaves.
2. Rollie Fingers
The lone representative of the 1972 Oakland "Mustache Gang" on this list, which did for facial hair in baseball what Ravi Shankar did for emotional expression via the sitar.
1. Keith Hernandez
His mustache is his oxygen, his religion, his élan vital. He'd no sooner trim it than renounce womankind. The mountains shall tumble into the sea before Keith Hernandez goes Kojak above the lip.
If you're a battery, you're either working or you're dead....