> Bubba, an airline mechanic, was bragging to his boss one day, "you
>know I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone,
>and I know them."
> Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, "OK, Bubba how
>about Tom Cruise?"
> "Sure, yes, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it."
> So Bubba and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom
>Cruise's door,and sure enough, Tom Cruise, shouts, "Bubba! Great to
>see you! You and your friend come right in and join me for lunch!"
> Although impressed, Bubba's boss is still skeptical. After they
>leave Cruise's house, he tells Bubba that he thinks Bubba's knowing
>Cruise was just lucky.
> "No, no, just name anyone else," Bubba says.
> "President Bush", his boss quickly retorts.
> "Yep", Bubba says, "I know him, let's fly out to Washington" and
>off they go. At the White House, Bush spots Bubba on the tour and
>motions him and his boss over, saying, "Bubba, what a surprise, I
>was just on my way to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in
>and let's have a cup of coffee first and catch up. "
> Well, the boss is very shaken by now, but still not totally
>convinced. After they leave the White House grounds, he expresses
>his doubts to Bubba, who again implores him to name anyone else.
> "The new Pope", his boss replies. "Sure!" says Bubba. "I've known
>the Pope a long time" So off they fly to Rome.
> Bubba and his boss are assembled with the masses in Vatican Square
>when Bubba says, "This will never work. I can't catch the Pope's eye
>among all these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards so let
>me just go upstairs and I'll come out on the balcony with the Pope."
>and he disappears into the crowd headed toward St. Peter's. Sure
>enough, half an hour later Bubba emerges with the Pope on the
>balcony. But by the time Bubba returns, he finds that his boss has
>had a heart attack and is surrounded by paramedics.
> Working his way to his boss's side, Bubba asks him, "What
> His boss looks up and says, "I was doing fine until you and the
>Pope came out on the balcony and the Japanese tourist next to me
>asked, "Who's that on the balcony with Bubba?"
There will come a day when Barry Bonds leaves baseball, and everything about the game will be the better for it.