IDIOTS IN SERVICE: This week, our phones went dead and I had to
contact the telephone repair people. They promised to be out
between 8:00 a.m.and 7:00 p.m. When I asked if they could give me a
smaller time window, the pleasant gentleman asked, "Would you like
us to call you before we come?"
I replied that I didn't see how he would be able to do that since
our phones weren't working. He also requested that we report
future outages by email. (Does YOUR email work without a
IDIOTS AT WORK: I was signing the receipt for my credit card
purchase when the clerk noticed I had never signed my name on the
back of the credit card. She informed me that she could not
complete the transaction unless the card was signed. When I asked
why, she explained that it was necessary to compare the signature
I had just signed on the receipt. So I signed the credit card in
front of her. She carefully compared the signature to the one I
had just signed on the receipt. As luck would have it, they matched.
IDIOTS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD: I live in a semi-rural area. We
recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative
office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our
road. The reason: too many deer were being hit by cars and she
didn't want them to cross there anymore. I could swear I've
recently been with some of these people...
IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE: My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and
ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for "minimal
He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg.
IDIOT SIGHTING #1: I was at the airport, checking in at the gate
when an airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your
baggage without your knowledge?"
To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I
She smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask."
IDIOT SIGHTING #2: The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's
safe to cross the street. I was crossing with a co-worker of mine
when she asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained
that it signals blind people when the light is red.
Appalled, she responded, "What on earth are blind people doing
IDIOT SIGHTING #3: At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear
co-worker who is leaving the company due to "downsizing," our
manager commented cheerfully, "This is fun. We should do this
Not a word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that
IDIOT SIGHTING #4: I work with an individual who plugged her power
strip back into itself and for the life of her couldn't understand
why her system would not turn on.
IDIOT SIGHTING #5: When my husband and I arrived at an automobile
dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been
locked in it. We went to the service department and found a
mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver's side door. As I
watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door
handle and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey," I announced to
the technician, "it's open!"
To which he replied, "I know - I already got that side."
I'm adding a #6
People have asked me what the lights on the vacum cleaner are for. I
had one person suggest to me that it's so you can see where you're
vacuming when the power goes out...