Dear Fantasy Champions,
It has come to my attention that there have been some disgressions transgressed throughout the progression of this processional league.
I have recently spoke with a very upset Commissioner Onion on the issues at hand. We don't want to make this any harder than it should be... and or WILL be. The Commissioner himself will be speaking live tonight at 8pm on this site. The topic of "interest" that has been upsetting him... and the rest of us mind you, is the fact that several of you have been cheating. We have hard prrof in the league log book. We don't really like to single people out but it has been brought to our attention that the following members are at fault and will be persecuted severely, swiftly and immediately.(And again we don't like to single anyone out)
We are discussing what course of action to take here but you are forcing us into the possibility of expulsion from this wonderful league of statistical bonanzas. There is a major problem and it will be addressed tonight at 8pm. Make it easy and admit your crimes like men.
By the way, Herman's Hot Coffee Super Store Cafe, the largest coffee chain in the world and all-american baseball cafe, is offering a free coffee, scone and ride on "Captain Blackmouth's Torturous Treacherous Adventure Ride" for every member who brings in his "Fantasy Baseball Cafe" roster sheet by February 24.
First Lieutenent Thomas J Piersall