C- Menyak (I picture him as fat so he's the catcher)
1B- Mookie (Cause he's black)
2B- Arlo (I think of him as a quick little elf type creature)
3B- Bloody Nipples (No reason)
SS- Transmogrifier (No reason)
LF- Wrveres (Barry Bonds plays left)
CF- Curious George (Monkeys cover a lot of ground)
RF- StlSluggers (Cause he's cool unlike JTWood)DH- bigh0rt (Power hitter but sucks at everything else)
SP- Madison (Because he has a girl's name)
RP- acsguitar (I feel sorry for him so I let him on the team)
Pinch Runner- Pogotheostrich (Fast, but lacks arms to play the field)
Bench- Red Stripe (Cause He is Worthless
Manager- Rico the Retard (He is responsible and makes good decisions)Lineup
Finally, some RESPECT!!! ... I think ...
SS - Mookie4ever - fits the prototype SS, as a scrawny pencil pushing lawyer
but he's a great table setter for the rest of the lineup. His avatar helps too.
LF - Madison - Nobody is faster with a reply, or has a greater OCP (On Cafe Percentage). We know he's a bowler/poker player, so he clearly lacks the speed/agility to play anywhere that Barry Bonds, Manny Ramirez and Cliff Floyd don't.
1B - Pogotheostrich - Pogo is the fan favorite and is the type of hitter who is so consistant you can bat him anywhere in the lineup, but his ability to hit homeruns with big info and score runs makes him perfect for the 3 hole.
RF - wrveres - In a perennial battle with the GM to be moved to RF to play the same position as Barry Bonds, this guy hits the longball better than anyone. He does great things with some of the toughest topics, though there is some heat being placed on him as to whether he deserves an asterisk next to some of his advice... Lobbying to get 'Left' Field changed to 'Treehugger' Field.
CF - Raidersumpire - Just promoted from the Minors (which he is a wealth of knowledge for), 'Rump' drives 'em home in bunches. He's quick as a hiccup with a response, so he patrols the outfield like Andruw Jones, and his ceiling is tremendous.
3B - MMoney - Playing the same position as Kid Wonder of his darling Yankees, MMoney is 'the sig guy', even if he's not making them for others. Not a day has gone by where I don't get an IM with 2-3 different sigs, even if they are Yankees most of the time. He's not terrible for advice, either.
2B - kentx12 - Marveling with his stellar D and signature verbal wars in Right Field with WRs, kent is a 'better fantasy player than real player' type, like Scott Podsednik, having a strong stathead fanbase, but getting no love from his hometown fans.
C - Amazinz - A tough, gritty brick s*** house, he calls a real good game and is more well known for his D than his stickwork. Usually spot on with analysis, yet rarely as revered as his teammates, he quietly eats tubs of vanilla Haagen-Daaz to stay fit, watching film of the game he just called.
P - Let's be honest here. The Cafe plays in the NL. The rest of you are kidding yourselves if you think otherwise.
SP - Lofunzo - A real hit or miss type 'Ace', when he's on, he's unhittable. Known as a real leader in the clubhouse, his only downside is his blatant Yankee homerism.
SP - Kimchi_Chigae - Known for his wacky submarine delivery and taste in fine women, KC throws pure heat, and is the best #2 pitcher you've never heard of. Respect this man!
SP - DK - Adding to the East Coast Bias, DK is a ground ball pitcher, and a devout Mets fan. Deserving of a spot in any rotation.
SP - GotowarMissAgnes - Goes the distance every outing, and is willing to scrap and claw until he gets every last batter out. A regular wealth of fantasy knowledge. Converted from a former Setup man; great with Holds.
SP - Don't kid yourself. The Cafe is in the playoffs. We're down to 4 Starters.
RP - Absolutely Adequate - When he's brought into the game he's superb. Unhittable in short bursts; endurance is the only thing keeping him from cracking the rotation.
RP - JTWood - Could be a perennial All-Star, but up until recently you never knew which Wood would be out there... JT or his alter-ego StL.
CL - HOOTIE - This man steps into 10 page debates and ends them with one post; that's all it takes. He's lights out, straight to the point, and there's a myth (or is it?) about him being 'never wrong.' It's 3 up, 3 down in the 9th.
Manager - Transmogrifier - You see his face every once in awhile, but like Art Howe when he was with Oakland, he doesn't do a whole lot.
He does what he's told from the higher ups and collects his paycheck.
GM - Arlo - The man who orchestrates this team, and its minor league affilliate. He calls all the shots, knows it all, and isn't afraid to own up to it. One half of the true 'powers that be'.
Owner - menyak - A shrewd negotiator. Every time the sig KB limit comes up at the Cafe CBA meetings, he always gets his way. He's tight with his money, which explains the motley bunch of individuals he fields, but he makes a nice profit, and we all know all that matters is the bottom line.