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Comedian Mitch Hedberg dies of a Heart Attack

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Postby logan » Fri Apr 01, 2005 1:25 am

RIP mitch. great comic. :,-(
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Postby Madison » Fri Apr 01, 2005 2:26 am

Yes doctor, I am sick.
Sick of those who are spineless.
Sick of those who feel self-entitled.
Sick of those who are hypocrites.
Yes doctor, an army is forming.
Yes doctor, there will be a war.
Yes doctor, there will be blood.....
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Postby acsguitar » Fri Apr 01, 2005 1:48 pm

awww damn that guy! he was funny rip
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Postby tuff_gong » Fri Apr 01, 2005 7:25 pm

this really sucks, i have his lastest cd and i love it. regardless of how you died, r.i.p mitch :,-( :,-( :,-(

Well that's just like, your opinion man.
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Postby Pogotheostrich » Fri Apr 01, 2005 10:16 pm

Comedy Central is running some of his standup right now if anyone is interested.
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Postby Bloody Nipples » Fri Apr 01, 2005 10:44 pm

yeah, I just watched. Its hilarious. RIP :,-(
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Postby The Miner Part 2 » Fri Apr 01, 2005 11:14 pm

"Rice is great when you're hungry and want to eat 2,000 of something" ... :,-( . HUUGE loss.
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Postby LBJackal » Sat Apr 02, 2005 4:18 am

Here's some more from his CD:

Somebody asked me if I wanted a frozen banana. I said no. But I want a regular banana later... so yeah.

I hate flossing, I wish I had one long curvy tooth.

I opened a yogourt and the lid said 'please try again'. A little inspiration from the good people at Yoplait - "Fuit on the bottom - inspiration on top"

I like tennis because no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall.

If you're flammable and have legs, you're never blocking a fire exit.

- Mitch Hedberg

"Jack, will you call me, if you're able?"

"I've got your phone number written, in the back of my Bible."
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Postby daullaz » Sun Apr 03, 2005 3:08 am

:,-( :,-( :,-( :,-( :,-( :,-(

We'll miss you Mitch. He is one of my all-time favorites. He was just as amazing live as recorded. They'll never be another like him.

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Postby JTWood » Fri Apr 08, 2005 10:12 am

I'm sorry to bring this back up, but hearing of his death, I had to go out and listen to his Comedy Central/HBO special again. Here are some other great Hedberg's:
  • I got an ant farm. Them fellas didn't grow sh*t!
  • I dressed up for my CD.
  • I haven't slept for 10 days because that would be too long.
  • Last week I helped my friend stay put. It's a lot easier than helping him move. I just went over to his house and made sure he did not start loading sh*t in to a truck.
  • I want to be a race car passenger. Just the guy who bugs the driver:
    • "Say man, can I turn on the radio?"
    • "You should slow down."
    • "Why do we have to keep driving in circles?"
    • "Can I put my feet out of the window?"
    • "Man... You really like Tide."
  • At the end of my letters, I like to write "ps - this is what part of the alphabet would look like if 'q' and 'r' were removed."
  • I think Bigfoot is blurry. That's the problem. It's not the photographer's fault. Bigfoot is blurry, and that's extra scary to me. Because there's a large, out-of-focus monster roaming the countryside, "Run! He's fuzzy!"
  • My roommate said, "I have to shave and use the shower. Does anyone need to use the restroom?" It's like some weird-ass quiz where he reveals the answer first.
  • Waiving to people you don't know can be dangerous. What if they don't have a hand? They'll think your cocky: "Look what I got! This thing is useful! I'm going to go pick something up!"
  • I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.
  • I got a robe. It's not a robe. It's just a towel that fits me.
  • On a traffic light, green means go and yellow means yield. But on a banana, it's just the opposite. Green means yield. Yellow means go ahead. Red means "Where the did you get that banana?"
  • I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it.
  • If carrots got you drunk, rabbits would be up!
  • I like vending machines because snacks are better when they fall. If I buy a candy bar at a store, often times I will drop it, so that it achieves its maximum flavor potential.
  • I bought a doughnut. They gave me a receipt for the doughnut. I don't need a receipt for the doughnut. You just give me a doughnut and I will give you the cash. End of transaction. We don't need to bring ink and paper into this. I just cannot imagine a situation where I will have to prove that I bought a doughnut.
  • A snake-bite emergency repair kit is a bodybag.
  • That joke's going to be good because I'm going to take all of the words out and replace them with new ones.
  • Two-in-one is a bullsh*t term because one is not big enough to hold two.
  • As a comedian, you have to start the show strong and end the show strong. You can't be like pancakes - all exciting at first, but by the end your sick of them.
  • I have a cheese shreader at home. That's the positive name for a cheese shreader. If they called it by its negative name, it wouldn't sell: Sponge Ruiner. Because I wanted to clean it, but now I have tiny bits of sponge... that would melt easily over tortillas.
  • I can look at a car's headlights and tell you exactly which way its coming.
  • This shirt is dry-clean only, which means it's dirty.
I've got carpal tunnel now, so maybe I'll post the rest later.
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