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favorite simposons lines

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Re: favorite simposons lines

Postby Dan Lambskin » Wed Dec 24, 2008 12:34 pm

i dont remember the exact quote but in the Furious D episode when they say to take the horse to the dog food factory
Homer: Good luck getting a horse to eat dog food
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Re: favorite simposons lines

Postby mweir145 » Sat Dec 27, 2008 5:57 pm

thedude wrote:
Officer Eddie: (reading Steve Sax's license) Well well, Steve Sax, from New York City.
Officer Lou: I heard some guy got killed in New York City and they never solved the case. But you wouldn't know anything about that now, would you, Steve?
(Lou and Eddie laugh)
Steve Sax: But there are hundreds of unsolved murders in New York City.
Officer Lou: You don't know when to keep your mouth shut, do you, Saxxy Boy?

One of my favourite episodes.

[After Steve Sax is unfairly convicted]
Chief Wiggum: Nice work, boys! I think we can close the book on every unsolved crime in our fair city.
Steve Sax: Don't I at least get to call my lawyer?
Lou: You watch too many movies, Sax!

Burns: Mattingly, get rid of those sideburns.
Mattingly: What sideburns?
Burns: You heard me, hippy!

[Carl is walking with Mike Scoscia, both pushing wheelbarrows of radioactive waste]
Carl: Hey, Scoscia, I don't get it. You're a ringer, but you're here every night in the core, busting your butt from hauling radioactive waste.
Mike Scoscia: Well Carl, it's such a relief from the pressures of playing big-league ball. I mean there, you make any kind of mistake and BOOM! The press is all over you-- [runs into a pipe on the floor, spilling radioactive waste from his barrow] Uh-oh!
Carl: Ah, don't worry about it.
Mike Scoscia: Oh man, is this ever sweet!
[They walk away. The waste is left bubbling on the floor.]

Barney: [in Moe's Tavern] And I say, that England's greatest Prime Minister was Lord Palmerston!
Wade Boggs: Pitt the Elder!
Barney: Lord Palmerston!!!
Wade Boggs: [poking Barney] Pitt the Elder!
Barney: Okay, you asked for it, Boggs! [punches him out]
Moe: Yeah, that's showing him, Barney! [disbelieving] Pitt the Elder...
Barney: LORD PALMERSTON! [punches him out]
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Re: favorite simposons lines

Postby Skippyoz » Wed Jan 07, 2009 12:24 am

Some of my favorites from my all-time favorite show...

1. This one isn't spoken... but Homer is at work in the break room with Carl and Lenny. Before saying something, Homer checks his hand. In marker, his hand reads:
"Carl = Black
Lenny = White"
Or something like that. It gets me every time. Haven't seen that one in years.

2. I forget where he is and who he's talking to, but Homer says: "Nu-cu-lar. Its pronounced, nu-cu-lar" to someone who probably pronounced it correctly.

3. Homer is working from home, his computer starts up... the computer screen reads "To start, press any key." Homer responds (actually, I think its Homer's brain): "Hmmm, where's the ANY key?"

4. Skinner is hosting the Superintendent for lunch and is serving Krusty Burgers and Skinner's kitchen has an explosion (I HAD to find this one on the internet to find the exact quote... its priceless)...
[Superintendant Chalmers sees Principal Skinner's kitchen on fire]
Superintendant Chalmers: Good Lord, what is happening in there?
Principal Skinner: The Aurora Borealis?
Superintendant Chalmers: The Aurora Borealis? At this time of year? At this time of day? In this part of the country? Localized entirely within your kitchen?
Principal Skinner: Yes.
Superintendant Chalmers: May I see it?
Principal Skinner: No.

My favorite character, for quoting purposes, is Homer's brain.

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Re: favorite simposons lines

Postby The Artful Dodger » Wed Jan 07, 2009 12:45 am

Skippyoz wrote:2. I forget where he is and who he's talking to, but Homer says: "Nu-cu-lar. Its pronounced, nu-cu-lar" to someone who probably pronounced it correctly.


This is the episode where Homer enlists in the Navy:

Officer: Next weekend, we're having our annual war games. Now Simpson, because of your many years as a nuclear technician, we're putting you on a nuclear sub.
Homer: "Nuc-u-lar". It's pronounced "nuc-u-lar".
Officer: Oh, whatever.
Homer: "Nuc-u-lar".


Here are a few other favorite quotes from that episode:

Announcer: Attention on deck! Captain Tenille wishes to address you!
Tenille: [clears throat] I'm a man of few words. [pause] Any questions?
Homer: Uh, is the poop deck really what I think it is?
Tenille: [laughs] I like the cut of your jib.
Homer: What's a jib?
Tenille: [laughs, then speaks to announcer] Promote that man.


Tenille: Did you hear that? The whales are hungry. Homer? Join us.
Homer: Thank you.
Tenille: Tell me, young man, what do you want out of life? [While Tenille was speaking, Homer was busy trying to reach a bowl of peas from the center of the table.]
Homer: I want peas!
Tenille: We all want peace! But it's always just out of reach.
Homer: [moans] Uh huh?
Tenille: So, what's the best way to get peace?
Homer: With the knife!
Tenille: Exactly! Not with the olive branch, but the bayonet! Ha, ha, Simpson, you're like the son I never had.
Homer: And you're like the father I never visit.


After Homer accidentally fired the captain from the torpedo bay and took over:

Brockman: Could Homer Simpson be a communist? His father spoke out on his behalf.
Abe: My Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a communist, but he is not a porn star!
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Re: favorite simposons lines

Postby mweir145 » Wed Jan 07, 2009 1:13 am

I just watched the episode yesterday where Homer decides to gain weight to become classified as obese and gain disability benefits.

Ralph: I heard your dad went into a restaurant and ate everything in the
restaurant and they had to close the restaurant.
Lisa: Hey, my dad may have gained a little weight, but he's not some
kind of food-crazed maniac.
Homer: [driving past the school bus in a hijacked ice-cream van, stuffing his face] Oh, that's raspberry!

Salesman: Well, sir, many of our clients find pants confining. So we offer a range of alternatives for the ample gentleman: ponchos, muu-muus, capes, jumpsuits, uni-sheets, muslin body rolls, academic and judicial robes.
Homer: I don't want to look like a weirdo. I'll just go with a muu-muu.

Homer: What can I do to speed the whole thing up, doctor?
Dr. Nick: Well, be creative. Instead of making sandwiches with bread, use Pop Tarts. Instead of chewing gum, chew bacon.
Bart: You could brush your teeth with milkshakes!
Dr. Nick: Hey... did you go to Hollywood Upstairs Medical College, too?
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Re: favorite simposons lines

Postby mweir145 » Wed Jan 07, 2009 1:18 am

Skippyoz wrote:3. Homer is working from home, his computer starts up... the computer screen reads "To start, press any key." Homer responds (actually, I think its Homer's brain): "Hmmm, where's the ANY key?"

Yeah, that was also in that episode I just watched. His entire interaction with the computer is hilarious.

Homer: [reading screen] "To Start Press Any Key". Where's the ANY key?
I see Esk ["ESC"], Catarl ["CTRL"], and Pig-Up ["PGUP"]. There
doesn't seem to be any ANY key. Woo! All this computer hacking
is making me thirsty. I think I'll order a TAB. [presses TAB
key] Awp...no time for that now, the computer's starting.
[reading screen slowly] "Check core temperature, yes slash no."
[types] Yes.
"Core temperature normal." Hmph. Not too shabby.
"Vent radioactive gas." [types] NO.
"Venting prevents explosi-on." Heeheee...whoa, this is hard.
Where's my Tab? Okay, then, [types] YES, vent the stupid gas.
[Cut to a farmer tending his corn. The gas release blows away
part of the crop.]
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Re: favorite simposons lines

Postby Dan Lambskin » Wed Jan 07, 2009 10:36 am

mweir145 wrote:
Skippyoz wrote:3. Homer is working from home, his computer starts up... the computer screen reads "To start, press any key." Homer responds (actually, I think its Homer's brain): "Hmmm, where's the ANY key?"

Yeah, that was also in that episode I just watched. His entire interaction with the computer is hilarious.

Homer: [reading screen] "To Start Press Any Key". Where's the ANY key?
I see Esk ["ESC"], Catarl ["CTRL"], and Pig-Up ["PGUP"]. There
doesn't seem to be any ANY key. Woo! All this computer hacking
is making me thirsty. I think I'll order a TAB. [presses TAB
key] Awp...no time for that now, the computer's starting.
[reading screen slowly] "Check core temperature, yes slash no."
[types] Yes.
"Core temperature normal." Hmph. Not too shabby.
"Vent radioactive gas." [types] NO.
"Venting prevents explosi-on." Heeheee...whoa, this is hard.
Where's my Tab? Okay, then, [types] YES, vent the stupid gas.
[Cut to a farmer tending his corn. The gas release blows away
part of the crop.]


the best part is when he put his cup up to the floppy drive ;-D
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Re: favorite simposons lines

Postby Omaha Red Sox » Mon Jan 12, 2009 12:11 pm

"You'll have to speak up, I'm wearing a towel."

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Last edited by Omaha Red Sox on Tue Jan 13, 2009 4:20 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: favorite simposons lines

Postby ironman » Tue Jan 13, 2009 4:04 pm

Homer comforting Bart: "There, there. Shut up boy."
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Re: favorite simposons lines

Postby The Artful Dodger » Tue Jan 13, 2009 6:53 pm

ironman wrote:Homer comforting Bart: "There, there. Shut up boy."


That reminds me of the time when the Simpsons get a new dog and let Santa's Little Helper in place of it when all of the things Bart bought with his credit card get repossessed:

Homer: You gave BOTH dogs away?? You know how I feel about giving!
Bart: I'm sorry! I know it's wrong, I messed everything up and now I don't have any dogs at all!
Homer: Well, crying isn't gonna bring him back, unless your tears smell like dog food. So you can either sit there crying and eating can after can of dog food until your tears smell enough like dog food to make your dog come back -- or you can go out there and find your dog!
Bart: You're right! I'll do it! [Bart runs out the kitchen]
Homer: Rats. I almost had him eating dog food!
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