Homer: Now, let's think about this. If you shoot me, I won't be able to stop you and you'll be free to go. [Snake cocks his gun] Homer: But, someone may come after you. Probably not, given your reputation for shooting people who come after you. What I'm trying to say is, not shooting me now would be the biggest mistake of your life.
"I do not think baseball of today is any better than it was 30 years ago... I still think Radbourne is the greatest of the pitchers." John Sullivan 1914-Old athletes never change.
The best Simpson's line ever is in the episode when the kids are snowed in the school. During the episode, Principal Skinner is stuck in a dodgeball bag and says to Nibbles, the hamster, after he saves the day:
"You did it Nibbles!!! Now come over here and chew through my ball sack!"
Chief Wiggum: This is Papa Bear. Put out an APB for a male suspect, driving a... car of some sort, heading in the direction of, uh, you know, that place that sells chili. Suspect is hatless. Repeat, hatless.
Burns: Look at that pig. Stuffing his face with donuts on my time! That's right, keep eating...Little do you know you're drawing ever closer to the poison donut! [cackles evilly, then stops abruptly] There is a poison one, isn't there Smithers? Smithers: Err...no, sir. I discussed this with our lawyers and they consider it murder.
Homer: Aw, twenty dollars! I wanted a peanut! Homer's Brain: Twenty dollars can buy many peanuts! Homer: Explain how! Homer's Brain: Money can be exchanged for goods and services! Homer: Woo-hoo!
Homer: Yeah, Moe, that team sure did suck last night. They just plain sucked! I've seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked! Marge: HOMER! Homer: I gotta go Moe my damn weiner kids are listening.
I still think it's one of the better sitcoms on TV but that's saying more about the current state of sitcoms rather than how good The Simpsons is. Not top 5 but probably still top 10 when it comes to comedy.
From the Episode when Bart raises a prize cow that is going to be slaughtered:
Homer: "I hope this teaches you kids a valuable lesson, never work hard or put in a lot of effort...also don't be a cow."
"I do not think baseball of today is any better than it was 30 years ago... I still think Radbourne is the greatest of the pitchers." John Sullivan 1914-Old athletes never change.
Officer Eddie: (reading Steve Sax's license) Well well, Steve Sax, from New York City. Officer Lou: I heard some guy got killed in New York City and they never solved the case. But you wouldn't know anything about that now, would you, Steve? (Lou and Eddie laugh) Steve Sax: But there are hundreds of unsolved murders in New York City. Officer Lou: You don't know when to keep your mouth shut, do you, Saxxy Boy?
"I do not think baseball of today is any better than it was 30 years ago... I still think Radbourne is the greatest of the pitchers." John Sullivan 1914-Old athletes never change.
AussieDodger wrote:The episode where Homer has to smoke weed because of an eye injury. Pretty much the whole episode.
"Could Jesus microwave a burrito so hot, that he himself could not eat it without burning his mouth."
Watched the episode where Lisa helps Homer bet on football games last night:
Homer: Who do you like in the late games? Lisa: I like the 49ers because they're true of heart, Seattle because they have nothing to lose, and the Raiders because they always cheat.
Cafe Home
Fantasy Football
Fantasy Basketball
Fantasy Hockey
by thedude » Sat Dec 20, 2008 5:28 pm 
