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Health Questions Answered

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Health Questions Answered

Postby ensanimal » Wed Nov 10, 2004 11:26 pm

Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?

A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it...don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.


Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?

A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.


Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?

A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine. That means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!


Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?

A: Well, if you have a body and you have body fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.


Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?

A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good


Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?

A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!! Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?


Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?

A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.


Q: Is chocolate bad for me?

A: Are you crazy? HELLO .... Cocoa Beans ... another vegetable!! It's the best feel-good food around!


Q: Is swimming good for your figure?

A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.


Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?

A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!
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Postby Madison » Wed Nov 10, 2004 11:50 pm

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?

A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.


LMAO!!!! :-b
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Yes doctor, there will be blood.....
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Re: Health Questions Answered

Postby LBJackal » Thu Nov 11, 2004 12:00 am

Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?

A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it...don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.


I actually had this idea when I was really young. How could your heart beating faster be GOOD for you?!?! You could have a heart attack!

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?

A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good


Sounds like a good philosophy to me :-D
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Postby acsguitar » Thu Nov 11, 2004 12:22 am

You know whats funny have you guys ever looked up an illness or symptom on the internet....

I hate doctors and all...

so I'll like look up something like. "Sore elbow" and it will inevitably come up with "CANCER!"
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Postby kentx12 » Thu Nov 11, 2004 11:03 am

Funny.. ;-D
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Postby JRM4833 » Thu Nov 11, 2004 12:16 pm

Funny stuff. :-b :-b
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Postby raiders_umpire » Thu Nov 11, 2004 1:40 pm

;-D ;-D nice find
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Postby Sox FANatic001 » Thu Nov 11, 2004 2:20 pm

acsguitar wrote:You know whats funny have you guys ever looked up an illness or symptom on the internet....

I hate doctors and all...

so I'll like look up something like. "Sore elbow" and it will inevitably come up with "CANCER!"


yes i have
i've looked up different foot pains and other small ailments on the net

the info i've found always seems to be right
Lets Go patsox!

yay! sox win!!!
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Postby acsguitar » Thu Nov 11, 2004 3:48 pm

Sox FANatic001 wrote:
acsguitar wrote:You know whats funny have you guys ever looked up an illness or symptom on the internet....

I hate doctors and all...

so I'll like look up something like. "Sore elbow" and it will inevitably come up with "CANCER!"


yes i have
i've looked up different foot pains and other small ailments on the net

the info i've found always seems to be right


Does that mean my elbow pain is cancer!! ahhhhHH!HH!
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