Study Shows That Cubs Fans Are Indeed Masochists
CHICAGO (AP) - An ad hoc study completed by walking around Chicago and its suburbs proved once and for all that Cubs fans are indeed attracted to the idea of self-punishment and pain. This state of being is also known as masochism.
Below is a picture of the taken from the ad hoc study:
Here we see an unnamed Cub fan (probably BigMusky) inviting punishment into his life.
It has long been believed that Cubs fans were addicted to torture and pain because of the mere fact that they were Cubs fans. However, this study is the first to actively seek out evidence to support this theory in an environment other
than Wrigley Field. This new study simply required the scientists to take a camera and walk around the city of Chicago taking pictures of the natives in their natural habitat. While only one picture was taken (see above), the weight of that evidence was so strong that the scientists were confident in stopping their study immediately and issuing the conclusion that Cubs fans are indeed addicted to pain.