I don't think I can repeat my prison name. Just know that it had to do with placing a fist in a not-so-pleasant place.
My wife's name was even worse than that.
My smurf name: Very Tall Smurf
My wife's smurf name: Ibn al' Smurf
That last one's interesting. I didn't know the smurfs had ever populated the Middle East. Maybe she's a convert...