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Postby thetongueofire » Tue Sep 14, 2004 4:14 pm

In a trial, a Southern small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand-a-grandmotherly, elderly woman. He approached her and asked,"Mrs.Jones, do you know me?"

She responded, "Why, yes I do know you, Mr.Williams. I've know you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."

The Lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs.Jones ! do you know the defense attorney?"

She again replied, "Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a
youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women,one of them was your wife. Yes, I know him."

The defense attorney almost died.

The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench, and in a very quiet voice, said:

"If either of you bastards asks her if she knows me, I'll throw your sorry asses in jail for contempt."

:-D
[size=10]Manny Ramirez....$20 million
Pedro Martinez....$17.5 million
Curt Schilling...$12 million (and a $2 million bonus)
Never hearing a Yankee fan chant 1918 again...priceless. [/size]
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Postby thetongueofire » Tue Sep 14, 2004 4:15 pm

A Catholic Priest was about to leave His Mission in the jungles where he has spent years teaching the natives when he realizes that the one thing he never taught them was how to speak English, so he takes the chief for a walk in the forest.

He points to a tree and says to the chief, "This is a tree." The chief looks at the tree and grunts, "Tree." The Priest pleased with the response. They walk a little farther and he points to a rock and says, "This is a rock." Hearing this, the chief looks and grunts, "Rock."

The Priest is really getting enthusiastic about the results when he hears a rustling in the bushes. As he peeks over the top, he sees a couple of natives screwing. The Priest is really flustered and quickly responds, "Riding a bike." The chief looks at the couple briefly, pulls out his blowgun and kills them.

The Priest goes ballistic and yells at the chief that he has spent years teaching the tribe how to be civilized and kind to each other, so how could he kill these people in cold blood that way? The chief replied, "My bike."
[size=10]Manny Ramirez....$20 million
Pedro Martinez....$17.5 million
Curt Schilling...$12 million (and a $2 million bonus)
Never hearing a Yankee fan chant 1918 again...priceless. [/size]
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Postby Andy1234 » Tue Sep 14, 2004 4:40 pm

Nice joks
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Postby StlSluggers » Tue Sep 14, 2004 5:02 pm

Andy1234 wrote:Nice joks

lol

:-D
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Postby thetongueofire » Tue Sep 14, 2004 5:43 pm

StlSluggers wrote:
Andy1234 wrote:Nice joks

lol

:-D


i have my own vobaculary. ;-D
[size=10]Manny Ramirez....$20 million
Pedro Martinez....$17.5 million
Curt Schilling...$12 million (and a $2 million bonus)
Never hearing a Yankee fan chant 1918 again...priceless. [/size]
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Postby Rico The Retard » Tue Sep 14, 2004 5:58 pm

lmao those were good ones
fgfdsgdsfdasfd

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Postby Madison » Tue Sep 14, 2004 6:20 pm

StlSluggers wrote:
Andy1234 wrote:Nice joks

lol

:-D


Lmao! :-D

Agreed, both were very good. ;-D ;-D
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Yes doctor, there will be blood.....
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Postby DieHardCubbie » Tue Sep 14, 2004 7:28 pm

LMAO.... ;-D ;-D
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England's Worcester Canoe Club set the world record for paddling a hand-propelled bathtub. The 25 man team covered a distance of 55 miles, 425 yards in 24 hours on September 28 and 29, 1979.
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Postby Tavish » Tue Sep 14, 2004 7:29 pm

thetongueofire wrote:
StlSluggers wrote:
Andy1234 wrote:Nice joks

lol

:-D


i have my own vobaculary. ;-D



Aswome:-D
Image

Bury me a Royal.
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Postby irishdude103 » Tue Sep 14, 2004 10:06 pm

lol
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