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Weapons of Math Instruction (joke)

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Weapons of Math Instruction (joke)

Postby Andy1234 » Wed Sep 08, 2004 12:58 am

At New York Kennedy airport, today, an individual later discovered to be a public school teacher, was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, a slide rule and a calculator.
Attorney General John Ashcroft believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement. He is being charged with carrying weapons of math instruction.

"Al-Gebra is a very fearsome cult, indeed", Ashcroft said. "They desire average solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on a tangent in a search of absolute value. They consist of quite shadowy figures, with names like "x" and "y", and, although these individuals are frequently referred to as "unknowns", we know they really belong to a common denominator and are part of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. "As the great Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, there are 3 sides to every triangle."

When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes."
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Postby kimchi_chigae » Wed Sep 08, 2004 2:41 am

Al-Gebra :-D :-D :-D

thanks for the laugh Andy1234


speaking of andy...am i the only one who thinks andy roddick looks like seann william scott?

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Postby Arlo » Wed Sep 08, 2004 5:53 am

"The great Greek philanderer?" :-D
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Postby SaintsOfTheDiamond » Wed Sep 08, 2004 10:07 am

LOL. Good one. ;-D

When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes."
:-D
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Postby StlSluggers » Wed Sep 08, 2004 10:30 am

Hilarious!

;-D
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Postby Madison » Wed Sep 08, 2004 10:47 am

As a math guy, much respect (and laughs) for this part:

"Al-Gebra is a very fearsome cult, indeed", Ashcroft said. "They desire average solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on a tangent in a search of absolute value. They consist of quite shadowy figures, with names like "x" and "y", and, although these individuals are frequently referred to as "unknowns", we know they really belong to a common denominator and are part of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. "As the great Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, there are 3 sides to every triangle."


Great stuff. :-D ;-D
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Postby Lofunzo » Wed Sep 08, 2004 11:54 am

Very funny. ;-D
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Postby raiders_umpire » Wed Sep 08, 2004 12:45 pm

great read..... ;-D ;-D
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Postby DieHardCubbie » Wed Sep 08, 2004 5:08 pm

LMAO.... ;-D
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Postby thetongueofire » Wed Sep 08, 2004 5:24 pm

absolutely hilarious. ;-D
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