Extra! Extra! Atheist Battles Christian Bear!!! - Fantasy Baseball Cafe 2014 Fantasy Baseball Cafe
100% Deposit Bonus for Cafe Members!

Return to General Talk

Extra! Extra! Atheist Battles Christian Bear!!!

Moderator: Baseball Moderators

Extra! Extra! Atheist Battles Christian Bear!!!

Postby StlSluggers » Tue Sep 07, 2004 2:26 pm

An atheist was walking through the woods.
"What majestic trees"!
"What powerful rivers"!
"What beautiful animals"! He said to himself.

As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot grizzly charge towards him.

He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder & saw that the bear was closing in on him. He looked over his shoulder again, & the bear was even closer.

He tripped & fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but saw that the bear was right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw & raising his right paw to strike him.

At that instant the Atheist cried out,"Oh my God"!!!

Time Stopped.

The bear froze.

The forest was silent.

As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky.

"You deny my existence for all these years, teach others I don't exist and even credit creation to cosmic accident".
"Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer"?
The atheist looked directly into the light, "It would be
hypocritical of me to suddenly ask You to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps You could make the BEAR a Christian"?

"Very Well," said the voice.

The light went out.

The sounds of the forest resumed.

And the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together, bowed his head & spoke:
"Lord bless this food, which I am about to receive from thy bounty through Christ our Lord, Amen".

:-D
StlSluggers
Hall of Fame Hero
Hall of Fame Hero

User avatar
CafeholicCafe WriterMock(ing) DrafterWeb Supporter
Posts: 14716
(Past Year: 10)
Joined: 24 May 2004
Home Cafe: Baseball
Location: Parking in the gov't bldg @ 7th and Pine. It's only $3.00 on game day!

Postby raiders_umpire » Tue Sep 07, 2004 4:02 pm

yep i have read that one before, but it is still pretty good..... ;-D
Image
raiders_umpire
Moderator
Moderator

User avatar
ModeratorCafeholicFantasy ExpertCafe WriterCafe RankerMock(ing) DrafterEagle EyeInnovative MemberCafe MusketeerPick 3 Weekly WinnerMatchup Meltdown SurvivorLucky Ladders Weekly Winner
Posts: 27781
Joined: 14 Dec 2003
Home Cafe: Baseball
Location: You will be missed, Robert Smeraldo.

Postby Rico The Retard » Tue Sep 07, 2004 4:20 pm

lmao thats a good one
fgfdsgdsfdasfd

"Hey honey, ya think KFC's still open"-Will Ferrell

Mark my words: Oliver Perez will be 2005 NL Cy Young Winner
Rico The Retard
Hall of Fame Hero
Hall of Fame Hero

User avatar
Cafe Ranker
Posts: 5820
Joined: 16 Jul 2004
Home Cafe: Baseball
Location: The Magical Valley Of Love And Happiness

Postby kimchi_chigae » Tue Sep 07, 2004 4:30 pm

:-D :-D :-D
Free WR!
kimchi_chigae Beginner
Mod in Retirement
Mod in Retirement

User avatar
CafeholicFantasy ExpertCafe RankerGraphics ExpertMock(ing) DrafterEagle EyePick 3 Weekly WinnerLucky Ladders Weekly Winner
Posts: 14875
(Past Year: 223)
Joined: 27 May 2004
Home Cafe: Baseball
Location: Osaka Jail

Postby DieHardCubbie » Tue Sep 07, 2004 5:09 pm

One of the classics.....but still a good one... ;-D
[b]Useless Trivia of the day[/b]

England's Worcester Canoe Club set the world record for paddling a hand-propelled bathtub. The 25 man team covered a distance of 55 miles, 425 yards in 24 hours on September 28 and 29, 1979.
DieHardCubbie
Hall of Fame Hero
Hall of Fame Hero

User avatar
Fantasy ExpertMock(ing) DrafterEagle EyeInnovative MemberPick 3 Weekly Winner
Posts: 13084
Joined: 13 Feb 2003
Home Cafe: Baseball
Location: floating around on the 3rd rock

Postby pomplona's finest » Tue Sep 07, 2004 6:49 pm

pretty funny ;-D
[URL=http://www.imageshack.us]Image[/URL]

AKA IRON CHEF

Member #5 of the Inaugural Yadier Molina Fan Club!!!
pomplona's finest
General Manager
General Manager

User avatar
Eagle Eye
Posts: 3062
Joined: 18 May 2004
Home Cafe: Baseball
Location: Dirt Farming in Madagascar

Postby Madison » Wed Sep 08, 2004 10:23 am

Always funny. :-D
Yes doctor, I am sick.
Sick of those who are spineless.
Sick of those who feel self-entitled.
Sick of those who are hypocrites.
Yes doctor, an army is forming.
Yes doctor, there will be a war.
Yes doctor, there will be blood.....
Madison
Mod in Retirement
Mod in Retirement

User avatar
ExecutiveEditorCafeholicFantasy ExpertCafe WriterCafe RankerMock(ing) DrafterEagle EyeCafe SpotterInnovative MemberCafe MusketeerPick 3 ChampionMatchup Meltdown SurvivorLucky Ladders Weekly Winner
Posts: 53856
(Past Year: 1)
Joined: 29 Apr 2003
Home Cafe: Baseball
Location: Taking Souls...

Postby Lofunzo » Wed Sep 08, 2004 11:56 am

Excellent. :-D ;-D
Image
Lofunzo
Moderator
Moderator

User avatar
ModeratorCafeholicFantasy ExpertCafe RankerEagle EyeHockey ModPick 3 Weekly Winner
Posts: 23698
(Past Year: 18)
Joined: 9 Jul 2003
Home Cafe: Baseball
Location: Central Jersey


Return to General Talk

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: rvcun9212, unioreimi and 7 guests

Forums Articles & Tips Sleepers Rankings Leagues


Today's Games
Friday, Jul. 11
(All times are EST, weather icons show forecast for game time)

Atlanta at Chi Cubs
(4:05 pm)
NY Yankees at Baltimore
(7:05 pm)
Chi White Sox at Cleveland
(7:05 pm)
Washington at Philadelphia
(7:05 pm)
Pittsburgh at Cincinnati
(7:10 pm)
Miami at NY Mets
(7:10 pm)
Toronto at Tampa Bay
(7:10 pm)
indoors
LA Angels at Texas
(8:05 pm)
Boston at Houston
(8:10 pm)
Detroit at Kansas City
(8:10 pm)
St. Louis at Milwaukee
(8:10 pm)
Minnesota at Colorado
(8:40 pm)
San Diego at LA Dodgers
(10:10 pm)
Oakland at Seattle
(10:10 pm)
Arizona at San Francisco
(10:15 pm)

  • Fantasy Baseball
  • Article Submissions
  • Privacy Statement
  • Site Survey 
  • Contact