1. Why don't they just make mouse flavored cat food?
2. Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injection?
3. Why does lemon juice contain artificial ingredients but dishwashing liquid contains real lemons?
4. Do Lipton employees get coffee breaks?
5. How do you know when it's time to tune your bagpipes?
6. If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
7. What hair color do they put on the drivers licences of bald men?
8. What was the best thing before sliced bread?
9. Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?
10. How come there aren't B batteries?
11. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
12. Could crop circles be the work of cereal killers?
13. How do they get the deer to cross at those yellow road signs?
14. How do you throw away a garbage can?
15. Why does Hawaii have interstate highways?
16. If Superman is so smart, then why does he wear his underwear on the outside of his trousers?
17. Why is it that bullets ricochet off of Superman's chest, but he ducks when the gun is thrown at him
Just some things to think about. Anyone have any more???
Still holds the MLB record for Grand Slams with 23
For as much love as Seinfeld gets for pondering, the king of all time is Steven Wright.
- After eating, do amphibians have to wait one hour before getting out of the water?
- How can there be self-help "groups"?
- When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their picket signs?
- Why do they report power outages on TV?
- Why, in a country of free speech, are there phone bills?
- When you're sending someone Styrofoam, what do you pack it in?
- What's another word for synonym?
- If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
- If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
- Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
And of course the eternal questions about mimes:
- If a mute swears, does his mother make him wash his hands with soap?
- If you were going to shoot a mime, would you use a silencer?
- Do bad mimes have narrators?
Thought I'd try to answer these. May be fun, may not be very fun.
stomperrob wrote:1. Why don't they just make mouse flavored cat food? How does a mouse taste? Like chicken. If so, they already have that.
2. Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injection? Wouldn't want to give the convict an infection...that's inhumane.
3. Why does lemon juice contain artificial ingredients but dishwashing liquid contains real lemons? Isn't it something on the order of 10% lemon juice like Hawaiian Punch?
4. Do Lipton employees get coffee breaks? If they want them.
5. How do you know when it's time to tune your bagpipes? You don't. Why do you think they are usually solitary?
6. If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent? Sure. He just won't have anything used against him in a court of law.
7. What hair color do they put on the drivers licences of bald men? None.
8. What was the best thing before sliced bread? Un-sliced Bread
9. Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines? They could be passengers in the car.
10. How come there aren't B batteries? People would think it means "Battery." They might get insulted.
11. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? Ever felt lingerie in the dark? Ummmmm
12. Could crop circles be the work of cereal killers? Only in wheat or oat fields.
13. How do they get the deer to cross at those yellow road signs? Training training training and lots of carrots.
14. How do you throw away a garbage can? With your hand.
15. Why does Hawaii have interstate highways? Remember Pangea?
16. If Superman is so smart, then why does he wear his underwear on the outside of his trousers? He's not necessarily smart, just the man of steel. If he was smart, he would realize that wearing glasses and slicking your hair isn't really enough to "throw anyone off your scent" to your undercover identity.
17. Why is it that bullets ricochet off of Superman's chest, but he ducks when the gun is thrown at him? People generally don't fire bullets at someone's head, but guns sweep out a larger volume and think of the mark it would leave on your face. It would ruin his disguise as Clark Kent.
Just some things to think about. Anyone have any more???
Yes doctor, I am sick. Sick of those who are spineless. Sick of those who feel self-entitled. Sick of those who are hypocrites. Yes doctor, an army is forming. Yes doctor, there will be a war. Yes doctor, there will be blood.....
if you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?
if people from Poland are called "Poles," why aren't people from Holland called "Holes?"
if a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?
is there another word for "synonym" ?
[size=10]Manny Ramirez....$20 million
Pedro Martinez....$17.5 million
Curt Schilling...$12 million (and a $2 million bonus)
Never hearing a Yankee fan chant 1918 again...priceless. [/size]
Why do you drive on a parkway and park on a driveway.
Yes doctor, I am sick. Sick of those who are spineless. Sick of those who feel self-entitled. Sick of those who are hypocrites. Yes doctor, an army is forming. Yes doctor, there will be a war. Yes doctor, there will be blood.....
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by stomperrob » Mon Aug 02, 2004 5:39 pm 
