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Barber Shop

Postby thetongueofire » Fri Jul 23, 2004 2:57 pm

A guy sticks his head into a barber shop and asks, "How long before I can get a haircut?" The barber looks around the shop and says, "About 2 hours."
The guy leaves.

A few days later the same guy sticks his head in the door and asks, "How long before I can get a haircut?" The barber looks around at the shop full of customers and says, "About 3 hours." The guy leaves.

A week later the same guy sticks his head in the shop and asks, "How long before I can get a haircut?" The barber looks around the shop and says, "About an hour and a half." The guy leaves.

The barber who is intrigued by this time, looks over at a friend in the shop and says, "Hey, Bill. Follow that guy and see
where he goes."

A little while later, Bill comes back into the shop, laughing hysterically.

The barber asks, "Bill, where did he go when he left here?"

Bill looks up, tears in his eyes and says, "Your house!"

!+)
[size=10]Manny Ramirez....$20 million
Pedro Martinez....$17.5 million
Curt Schilling...$12 million (and a $2 million bonus)
Never hearing a Yankee fan chant 1918 again...priceless. [/size]
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Postby thetongueofire » Fri Jul 23, 2004 2:58 pm

Bear on Drugs



A bear walks into a bar in Billings, Montana and sits down. He bangs on the bar with his paw and demands a beer.

The bartender approaches and says, "We don't serve beer to bears in bars in Billings."

The bear, becoming angry, demands again that he be served a beer.

The bartender tells him again, more forcefully, "We don't serve beer to belligerent bears in bars in Billings."

The bear, very angry now, says, "If you don't serve me a beer, I'm going to eat that lady sitting at the end of the bar."

The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve beer to belligerent, bully bears in bars in Billings."

The bear goes to the end of the bar, and as promised, eats the woman.

He comes back to his seat and again demands a beer.

The bartender states, "Sorry, we don't serve beer to belligerent, bully bears in bars in Billings who are on drugs."

The bear says, "I'm NOT on drugs."

The bartender says,
"You are now. That was a barbitchyouate!"
[size=10]Manny Ramirez....$20 million
Pedro Martinez....$17.5 million
Curt Schilling...$12 million (and a $2 million bonus)
Never hearing a Yankee fan chant 1918 again...priceless. [/size]
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Postby wkelly91 » Fri Jul 23, 2004 3:08 pm

1) :-b
2) :-P

;-D
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Postby Rico The Retard » Fri Jul 23, 2004 4:31 pm

good ones ;-D ;-D ;-D ;-D ;-D
fgfdsgdsfdasfd

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Postby Madison » Fri Jul 23, 2004 7:54 pm

Both are great. ;-D ;-D I like the haircut one better though. ;-D

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Postby irishdude103 » Fri Jul 23, 2004 8:10 pm

lol
Image
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Postby DieHardCubbie » Fri Jul 23, 2004 9:48 pm

LOL....nice ones tounge.... ;-D
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Postby jumpman8288 » Fri Jul 23, 2004 9:54 pm

That barbershop one is a classic...
[URL=http://http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=7158944067217702636&q=new+born+muse]MUSE ROCK[/URL]
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