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THE OFFICIAL BLONDE JOKE THREAD

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Postby Mookie4ever » Wed Jul 14, 2004 9:41 am

Why was the blonde happy that it took her six months to finish a jigsaw puzzle?

Because the box said from two to four years.
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Postby irishdude103 » Wed Jul 14, 2004 11:04 am

lol nice on Mookie
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Postby Madison » Thu Jul 15, 2004 5:22 am

Mookie4ever wrote:Why was the blonde girl's belly button sore?

Her boyfriend was blonde too.

(will this one get deleted?)


Nah, that one's fine. ;-D

Funny too. :-b
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Postby slomo007 » Thu Jul 15, 2004 11:14 am

Not a joke, but interesting nonetheless.

http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=s ... m/jokes_dc

Do Dumb Blonde Jokes Slow Mental Activity??

Wed Jul 14,10:22 AM ET Add Oddly Enough - Reuters to My Yahoo!



BERLIN (Reuters) - Blondes perform intelligence tests more slowly after reading jokes playing on their supposed stupidity, said psychologists in a newly published German study.



Some 80 women of various hair colors were tested on their mental capacity to work quickly and precisely in a series of psychometric tests. Before sitting the tests, half the participants had to read "dumb blonde" jokes, such as:


"Why do blondes open yogurt pots while still at the supermarket? -- Because it says 'Open Here' on the lid."


"No blonde woman believes she is stupid," said Jens Foerster a social psychologist from the International University Bremen in northern Germany on Wednesday.


"But after exposure to negative social-stereotypes about them, the fair-haired participants performed significantly more slowly in the tests."


Foerster explained the result by saying that when people are told they can't perform a task well, they work more slowly but more cautiously, to try to make fewer mistakes.


"The study shows that even unfounded prejudices generally dismissed as untrue can affect an individual's confidence in their own ability," said Foerster.
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Postby baseballchick123 » Thu Jul 15, 2004 10:27 pm

i have two blonde jokes

Theres a blonde woman driving down the middle of a local road, speeding 20 miles over the speed limit...a police officer stops her and says, "what in the world do u think u were doing, woman? You were driving down the middle of the road at 60 miles an hour, the speed limits ONLY 40!"

the blonde replies, "Oh, i have a special licesnce that allows me to do that." she hands him the license, "see?"

"theres nothing special about this license, ma'am." says the police officer, "its just a temporary one"

"look in the top left corner" replies the blonde

the police officer glances at the top left corner and it says 'tear along the dotted line'

hehe..next one:

Theres a rich blonde in a corvette dirving down a small road near a farm when she spots another blond in a canoe rowing through a feild of hay. She is so angered by this act of stupidity that she stops the car, storms out and yells to the blond, "You are the kind of person that gives us blonds a bad name!!!!!"

the other blond looks up at the first one with a confused expression.

"if i could swim id go over their and drown you!" yells the angry blonde.
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Postby Fireball Express » Fri Jul 16, 2004 2:21 am

I guess it's safe to say that Baseballchick is not a blonde.

Here's another.

There was a mailman who decided to retire. It was his last day and when he went up to the 1st house they gave him a box of chocolates. At the 2nd house they gave him a nice big gift basket. When he went to the 3rd house a hot looking blonde answered the door in nothing but some see-through pjs. She took him upstairs and gave him the best sex of his life. They went downstairs and she made him so eggs, and then she handed him a dollar. He asked what that was for and the blonde replied "Oh it was my husbands idea, he said f*** the mail man, give him a dollar, the breakfast was my idea."
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Postby irishdude103 » Fri Jul 16, 2004 12:11 pm

lol
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Postby Rico The Retard » Mon Jul 19, 2004 4:01 pm

Two blondes were walking down the street when one said look a dead bird. The other looked up and said "Where".

One day a Redhead,Brunette, and Blonde were running from the cops when they went to hide in potato sacks. When the cops came they kicked the first one the redhead was in and she said woof woof, the cops said it's just a stupid dog so they kicked the next one with the brunette and she said meow meow so they said it's just a stupid cat so then they kicked the next one with the blonde and she said "potatoes, potatoes"

Two blondes were driving down the street when they saw a blonde in a boat paddling in a cornfield. The first blonde said "It is blondes like that who give us a bad name" then the second one said "I know if i knew how to swim i would swim out there and knock her off her boat"
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Postby Omaha Red Sox » Thu Nov 30, 2006 9:35 am

Got a funny blonde joke in an email this morning at work...

A Blonde's Year In Review

January - Took new scarf back to store because it was
too tight

February - Fired from pharmacy job for failing to
print labels Helllooo!!! ... bottles won't fit in
typewriter!!!

March - Got really excited.....finished jigsaw puzzle
in 6 months.....box said "2-4 years!"

April - Trapped on the Macy's escalator for hours
after the power went out!!

May - Tried to make Kool-Aid.....wrong
instructions.....8 cups of water won't fit into those
little packets!!!

June - Tried to go water skiing.....couldn't find a
lake with a slope.

July -Lost breast stroke swimming competition ......
learned later, the other swimmers cheated, they used
their arms!!!

August - Got locked out of my car in rain storm .car
swamped because soft-top was open.

September - The capital of California is "C".....isn't
it???

October - Hate M&M's.....they are so hard to peel.

November - Baked turkey for 4 1/2
days.....instructions said 1 hour per pound and I
weigh 108!!!

December - Couldn't call 911....."duh".....there's no
"eleven" button on the stupid phone!!!
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Postby josebach » Thu Nov 30, 2006 9:58 am

What do you call a dead blonde in the closet?


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