A blonde came running up to her husband in the driveway as he came home from work. She said, "Honey, I have some really great news for you!"
The husband said, "Great, tell me why you're so happy!" "I'm pregnant!" she shouted.
He said, "That's wonderful! I couldn't be happier!"
Then, she said, "Oh, Honey, wait, there's more!" He asked, "What do you mean 'more'?"
She said, "Well, we aren't having just one baby, we are going to have TWINS! Amazed, he asked her how she knew.
She said, "Well, that was the easy part. I went to Wal-Mart and bought the twin-pack Home Pregnancy Test kit" and BOTH tests came out positive!"
I believe there ought to be a constitutional amendment outlawing Astroturf and the designated hitter. -Crash Davis
Stewie : [watching a baseball game] Why does that man drop his club before he runs? I would bring it with me!
Yes doctor, I am sick. Sick of those who are spineless. Sick of those who feel self-entitled. Sick of those who are hypocrites. Yes doctor, an army is forming. Yes doctor, there will be a war. Yes doctor, there will be blood.....