.: Soapbox :.
Thursday afternoon, this is the conversation Terry Collins had with his New York Mets baseball team
..."Sweep the leg. You have a problem with that?"
And the Mets responded in kind, "No sensei." "No mercy."
Then I drank an uncountable amount of Budweisers at Billy's across from Yankee stadium, parked myself with 15 of my friends in Section 104 in Right Field, and watched two AAA teams battle it out for bragging rights in Gotham. For a brief few hours, I forgot exactly how many people were staying at my house this week. I forgot that the Mets were still going to be 7 games under .500 even if they won this game, completed the sweep, and won their fifth straight game. For those few hours, I was truly joyous. Dillon Gee had the best start of his entire life (unconfirmed), I made bird calls at Marlon Byrd in RF all night, being only a few rows behind him and inebriated. I was generally the item of disgust amongst nearby families, children, and Yankee fans. For those few hours, it was glorious. It was like the Mets' 2013 World Series. The most meaningful games we will play all season. And the best part about it? It may have been the most meaningful games the Yankees will play all season too. Because mark my words, we will look at this series as the moment the 2013 Yankees were exposed as frauds. The moment the smoke dissipated and the mirrors broke, and we finally noticed that they're starting Reid Brignac, David Adams, and Lyle Overbay. That they were relying on Vidal Nuno to prevent a 4-game sweep. That they're not a good baseball team. That even when Teix and Grandy and El Capitain come back, they still aren't a good baseball team -- they're just a little better baseball team that's old and wildly approaching washed up and detrimental. And it brings a great big smile to my face. So here is where we cue the Yankee fans coming in and saying exactly what I just said, about these games not mattering to them, and how they'll "see what happens in October". But I've just schooled you on the harsh reality. It's over. Done. Finito. You just dropped four straight to a team consisting of David Wright and a bunch of guys who don't deserve to be paid for their baseball prowess. That doesn't exactly scream 'contender', no matter who you add back into the fray. The only thing that could bring me down from this high is if you're young enough to have read the title of this thread and not immediately known what the reference was from. If that happened to you, I hate you. If you're too old to know, then you're ayebatter, and dammit I respect you. On the train ride home, I kept the seat next to me open for my imaginary broom. Yankees suck..: Around the Cafe :.
Lot of great discussion happening about Michael Wacha
Flocka Flame. J did some great pitch analysis inning by inning that I tried to interpret as a good thing that I missed out on him in my main league by about 3 minutes a week or so ago. Two glaring questions emerge, though... 1) How many foul tips did he produce in his MLB Debut? 2) What is his anticipated K/(H+BB) for the 2013 season if he sticks in the rotation? If it's north of 1.00 I'll never forgive myself. Seriously, though, here's a guy worth reading up on. The Cardinals have a rich history of having things like Wacha work out for them, which is all the analysis I really need at this point to make me mad I don't own the guy.Bottom of the 9th: Future AL Closers
-- Read it. Educate yourself. Learn names of guys you've never heard of so you can sound intelligent when you're telling your friends how you knew about this guy being so impressive in AAA two weeks from now when he's got 3 Saves for his MLB club. As an aside, I'm considering starting a movement that the Tips section be changed to 'Just the Tip'. Wouldn't more people read it if that's what it was called. Could you possibly not
read 'Just the Tip'? If the change isn't made, that will be the title of every article I write for the rest of my life. I'm copyrighting it right here, right now. 'Just the Tip © with Brendan Horton' or 'Just the Tip ™ with Brendan Horton' -- whichever one is correct. Also don't forget that the Cafe Closer Thread
might be one of the most valuable fantasy baseball resources on the entire series of tubes that is the internets. Try real hard not to be the person who screws that up, will ya?Tyler Skaggs is in the group of guys like Jake Odorizzi who were at one time hot button players here at the Cafe
, whose shine has apparently rubbed off and are no longer sexy names. He beasted in his one spot start, and we should discuss what to expect if and when he is recalled to join the rotation in the desert. Depending on his FoulTipMetric and his K/(H+BB) potential, he could be a guy worth owning for more than just spot start purposes. And before you ask, yes, I am going to run those jokes into the ground well beyond their life expectancy of funny, beat them to death, and then continue beating them for months beyond that.
My time honored tradition of linking the Blue Jays Fail Thread
will not stop here, no sir. Not when A) the Mets just swept the Yankees in a 4-game Home and Home Series, and B) Josh Johnson allowed six runs on eight hits and three walks over just 4 2/3 frames in a rehab start with Triple-A Buffalo Thursday; In his 4 Bisons starts, Ricky Romero has pitched 13 innings, allowed 23 hits, 20 walks, with just 3 strikeouts; R.A. Dickey gave up six runs and 11 hits in six innings Thursday in a loss to the Braves. That's so much fail in three statements. Also, Brett Lawrie is still a squid!.: What Do You Meme? :.
That's just the formaldehyde (full disclosure, I spelled it fermeldaheyd and then went to Google) coming from ayebatter.
People really need to stop using Wikipedia as their credible source. It hasn't happened. It will never happen. It is unpossible. Stop. Just stop.
Kudos to anyone who remembers that last part.
Do we even have any open, out of the closet Cubs fans here at the Cafe?.: Today's Games :.
BOS: Lester (6-1, 3.34 ERA)
NYY: Sabathia (4-4, 3.96 ERA)
NYM: Marcum (0-5, 5.77 ERA)
MIA: Turner (0-0, 0.00 ERA)
DET: Scherzer (7-0, 3.42 ERA)
BAL: Gonzalez (2-2, 3.94 ERA)
ARI: Miley (3-4, 4.53 ERA)
CHC: Garza (0-0, 4.00 ERA)
TB: Moore (8-0, 2.21 ERA)
CLE: Kluber (3-3, 4.57 ERA)
MIL: Gallardo (3-5, 4.79 ERA)
PHI: Hamels (1-8, 4.43 ERA)
KC: Davis (3-4, 5.71 ERA)
TEX: Holland (4-2, 2.97 ERA)
CIN: Cueto (2-0, 2.76 ERA)
PIT: Rodriguez (6-2, 3.58 ERA)
SEA: Iwakuma (5-1, 2.35 ERA)
MIN: Pelfrey (3-5, 6.85 ERA)
WSH: Strasburg (3-5, 2.49 ERA)
ATL: Teheran (3-1, 3.67 ERA)
HOU: Keuchel (1-2, 5.53 ERA)
LAA: Hanson (2-1, 3.86 ERA)
SF: Cain (4-2, 5.00 ERA)
STL: Miller (5-3, 2.02 ERA)
CHW: Axelrod (3-3, 4.21 ERA)
OAK: Colon (5-2, 3.82 ERA)
LAD: Kershaw (5-3, 1.68 ERA)
COL: Garland (3-6, 5.53 ERA)
TOR: Jenkins (1-0, 3.60 ERA)
SD: Marquis (6-2, 3.70 ERA)