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How to deal with the work b****?

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How to deal with the work b****?

Postby Fantasy GM » Sun Aug 12, 2012 4:08 am

I don't like disclosing personal issues here on a forum, but alcohol + keeping tabs on my fantasy team = here I am.

I work at a rather large company where virtually everyone relocated for the job. Because there are a couple hundred of us around the same age, we work long/strange hours and we're not near a major city, everyone we're friends with is going to be from work. Keeping this in mind, I have mysteriously angered the aspiring social queen of the office and it's starting to show. Normally I wouldn't care, but when my friends start saying they notice it and that it could affect my perception, then it becomes an issue.

How crazy is this girl? She created a facebook event for a bar party - and then blocked me from the event so I'd have to pay a cover charge that no one else needed to pay. We got along fine prior to this, so this was somewhat alarming. Especially when my coworkers were asking why I wasn't wearing the VIP bracelet. I'm not one for publically humiliating others, so I held my tongue at the event.

However, I sent a quick note to her afterwards. Nothing mean and I made sure not to attack her. But I said how there seems to be some discord and if she has a problem with me, she is free to let me know (I won't freak). Because we'll be crossing paths a lot both at work and away from work, I'd like to be on good terms.

Is there an right way to deal with this? Taking the high road all the time hasn't done me much good. For awhile, I've been wondering why some of my female co-workers keep a distance from me. Well, we know why now!
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Re: How to deal with the work b****?

Postby AussieDodger » Sun Aug 12, 2012 7:43 am

Fantasy GM wrote:Taking the high road all the time hasn't done me much good.


It hardly ever does. That's why I take the low road 3/4 of the time.
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Re: How to deal with the work b****?

Postby Lofunzo » Sun Aug 12, 2012 10:18 am

Why did you send a note? If there is an issue that you want to be resolved, talk to her. I know that no one talks any longer but it is the best way to find out what the issue is while also being able to read body language. You don't get that from a phone call, text, e-mail, or note.
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Re: How to deal with the work b****?

Postby Fantasy GM » Sun Aug 12, 2012 10:34 am

Lofunzo wrote:Why did you send a note? If there is an issue that you want to be resolved, talk to her. I know that no one talks any longer but it is the best way to find out what the issue is while also being able to read body language. You don't get that from a phone call, text, e-mail, or note.


I'm a big "in person" guy, but the b**** was visibly being distant. Therefore, I wrote a brief note (which btw got a massively long explanation). Though I prefer talking, writing is probably my stronger asset when dealing with drama and trouble.
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Re: How to deal with the work b****?

Postby Lofunzo » Sun Aug 12, 2012 10:53 am

Fantasy GM wrote:
Lofunzo wrote:Why did you send a note? If there is an issue that you want to be resolved, talk to her. I know that no one talks any longer but it is the best way to find out what the issue is while also being able to read body language. You don't get that from a phone call, text, e-mail, or note.


I'm a big "in person" guy, but the b**** was visibly being distant. Therefore, I wrote a brief note (which btw got a massively long explanation). Though I prefer talking, writing is probably my stronger asset when dealing with drama and trouble.


I don't want to tell anyone what to do with their lives but I have found the best way for me is to be the one that dictates the situation. If she was being distant and you catered to that, she is still in control. I hope that you got some resolution from her response. ;-D
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Re: How to deal with the work b****?

Postby ayebatter » Sun Aug 12, 2012 11:19 am

Fantasy GM wrote:(which btw got a massively long explanation).


Which said.................
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Re: How to deal with the work b****?

Postby Fantasy GM » Sun Aug 12, 2012 12:32 pm

ayebatter wrote:
Fantasy GM wrote:(which btw got a massively long explanation).


Which said.................


F%$&*$($%(# YOU! I'm only kidding, she didn't say that. :-D She said:

-She was shocked that she'd wake up to that dose morning cheer. Though I didn't "destroy" her; I kept it civil and actually added some charm in the note. She seemed to respect the tone.
-She says there's no issue and "we're good". (Nice to hear, but that's not true. Unless going from nice, talkative and down to earth to a permanent state of the cold shoulder is "normal.")
-The cover issue got blown out of proportion - maybe. She says it was meant for the girl's close friends. (Good concept, but some of my buddies don't even know the girl and didn't have to pay cover). These guys weren't blocked, so I can't fully come around to that.
-I mentioned the cover issue to 2 of my very close friends at after people started ribbing me about why I had to pay. Problem? They didn't keep their mouths shut. One of them gave his two cents to the girl. I scolded my friend about it after I saw this go down, so she had a point with this one. I hate using gossip as a tool.

That's that. I sent a respectful note back. Unless she says something spectacular, I don't think much more is coming from this.
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Re: How to deal with the work b****?

Postby ayebatter » Sun Aug 12, 2012 1:49 pm

The nerve of you, noticing her snub then acknowledging it, this isn't over and she's in control, you need info to put yourself in a favorable position. Too bad you didn't take control at the 'get together' by handing out drink tickets at the door or going from table to table buying a round or two.
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Re: How to deal with the work b****?

Postby Mookie4ever » Sun Aug 12, 2012 3:39 pm

Let it slip that you are gay. All chicks want to be friends with the gay guy.
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Re: How to deal with the work b****?

Postby Fantasy GM » Sun Aug 12, 2012 4:28 pm

Mookie4ever wrote:Let it slip that you are gay. All chicks want to be friends with the gay guy.

That'll do it. :-b

The fact I said anything was shocking. For as long as I've been at my new location, I've been Mr. Nice Guy. Always taking the high road, not creating any drama and staying par for the course. That's gotten me nowhere (outside of work) because I become "just another guy." I'm rocking the boat. }:-) ;-D
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