7/24 Cheering, Venting, & Trades (w/ Ichiro Quotes)

[bigh0rt]

Before we really dive in, let's just digest the fact that the Braves are now 0 - 12 on Mondays this season. Defying all sorts of odds here. Just bizarre and meaningless, but still. I'm drawn to it like a moth to a flame. Anyway, onward...

It was a trade extravaganza on Monday, with several swaps being completed! Since there's a heavy East Coast Bias here, I'm leading off with the aging former superstar Ichiro (Suzuki) being sent to the New York Yankees for a DJ and some guy named Focker (Gaylord, is that you?). The Yankees aren't short of outfielders, but the fact that they are able to acquire a switch hitting former gold glove winning, still somewhat speedy outfielder for their bench is still troubling to some. Presumably Ichiro will fill the Brett Gardner role on the team, as he (Gardner) was just recently ruled out for the remainder of the season. He has a .642 OPS, but chances are in the Yankee lineup, in Yankee Stadium, he'll suddenly step hsi game up and OPS .900 or so through October. Probably score some major iconic Run that propels the Yankees to the ALCS or World Series or something. It's just how it works. Not all seem to think so, however, As one bitter Blue Jays fan pointed out in yesterday's CV Thread: "This just in. Yankees trade for Teemu Selänne and David Beckham. Girardi smartly get call display and refuses to answer calls from Brett Favre." Also, this could be the most diabolical profiteering scheme in sports history -- as Jeremy Lin Knicks jerseys fly into garbage cans across the metro-area, suddenly there's a big market for Ichiro jerseys; and not only is that racially insensitive, but also untrue, since those cheap-o's will just bust out their old Bernie Williams jerseys. (Dammit, he wore #31). Either way, he bat 8th in his first game for the Yankees, which consequently took place at Safeco Field, so at least he didn't have to travel far, just from the Home dugout to the Visitors'. There seems no better time than right now to recap some of our favorites quotes from Mr. Suzuki...

"Chicks who dig home runs aren't the ones who appeal to me. I think there's sexiness in infield hits because they require technique. I'd rather impress the chicks with my technique than with my brute strength. Then, every now and then, just to show I can do that, too, I might flirt a little by hitting one out." -- New York Times, 2009

"I'm told I either look bigger than I do on television or that I look smaller than I look on television. No one seems to think I look the same size." -- Tacoma News Tribune, 2001

“To tell the truth, I’m not excited to go to Cleveland, but we have to. If I ever saw myself saying I’m excited going to Cleveland, I’d punch myself in the face, because I’m lying.” -- on Cleveland, OH... Lebron James might have also said this at some point.

“I hope he arouses the fire that’s dormant in the innermost recesses of my soul. I plan to face him with the zeal of a challenger.” -- on facing Dice-K

I can't wait to hear what he says to the New York media. Speaking of which, does anybody else have a problem with this dude still using a translator after twelve years in the MLB? Twelve! Herrooooooo???????


The next big swap, happening earlier in the day, was NL ERA leader Ryan Dempster heading to Hotlanta for Randall Delgado (as of my typing this at 10 pm Monday, pending Dempster's approval, as he has 10/5 rights or 5/10 rights, whatever they're called). Delgado was highly touted by the Georgia ballclub for the past two years or so, but has yet to really impress. Still, he could somewhat fulfill his potential and become a player in the Cubs future rotation, which has managed to seemingly successfully transition a walk-happy fire-baller in Jeff Samardzija to a pretty good starter (8 shutout innings last night; I love it when a plan comes together like that.), after doing the very same with the aforementioned Dempster the better part of a decade ago (sidenote, does anyone else remember just how awful Dumpster used to be? He was putrid.). Also finding a new home, in the Flo-err, Miami Marlins' semi-annual sale, are 2B Omar Infante and SP Anibal Sanchez, heading to the 3-1-3 in exchange for former super-prospect Jacob Turner, who has been unimpressive himself in 2012. For fantasy purposes, this likely earns Emilio Bonifacio 2B eligibility, further adding to his already underrated value, and likely gives Justin Ruggiano a full-time gig in the OF even when Giancarlo 'Don't Call Me Mike' Stanton returns from surgery.

I had this whole Mike Trout thing typed up in what was supposed to be yesterday's CV Thread, but as I indicated in the weekend thread, I accidentally closed it and vehemently refused to re-type all of my lost, J.R.R. Tolkien-esque work. The bottom line is, as of this morning, dude had scored a Run in 15 straight games! Fifteen straight!! Please feel free to gush over the size of the broner he gives you in the Trout Watch thread.

Speaking of Broners, I remember when Anthony Rizzo used to give me one. That was before he mustered one single, lonely RBI over a stretch of 12 games (he's scored just twice in that same span). Umm, what gives bro? After striking out thrice more last night, what's happening? Does he look overmatched by big league pitching after they got another look at him this year? Is he hitting lasers right at people? Okay, so he's still batting .329 with a .884 OPS, but where's the fantasy production? The Cubs have been winning at an alarming rate, and they've been doing it without the help of the heart of their order! When's this guy gonna park a ball, or drive a teammate in? Sheesh. In other news, fantasy baseball owners are fickle. I'm also puzzled at his 13.7% BB last year compared to just 3.5% this year. Huh? Dude couldn't hit the broad side of a barn in 2011, and his walk rate drops by 75% in 2012? What am I taking crazy pills?!?!

David Wright has quietly dug deep into his closet and found his Superman cape. In the midst of a lineup that features seven other guys you've never heard of or worse yet, Jason Bay, Wright has just been unbelievable. And, I don't know if defensive metrics back this up, but if they don't I just can't believe them, dude has played Gold Glove caliber defense this year. I don't know that he'll win the award, and Lord knows he's had trouble throwing to first base over the past few years, but his glove has been A++ all year. The Mets need to re-sign him, regardless of price. He's a true franchise player, and he's never shown it as much as this season.

There was also a whole thing about Jason Kubel suddenly thinking he's good now, really loving Chase Field with his 1.125 OPS there, blah blah blah, and then I said he's basically the clone of Turtle from Entourage, and don't tell me he's not...

Any other celebrity look-a-like ESPN profile pics? PM me them! I'll get them in a future CV Thread, and maybe even give you credit!!

Well, after all that, if your mind isn't blown yet, this ought to do it...


All that said, I'll be at Citi Field tonight, so won't be making one of these tomorrow morning...

Today's Matchups:

TB: Hellickson (4-6, 3.55 ERA)
BAL: Chen (8-5, 3.80 ERA)

MIL: Greinke (9-3, 3.57 ERA)
PHI: Lee (1-6, 3.72 ERA)

DET: Fister (4-6, 4.04 ERA)
CLE: Jimenez (8-9, 5.24 ERA)

CHC: Maholm (8-6, 4.09 ERA)
PIT: McDonald (10-3, 2.93 ERA)

OAK: Blackley (2-2, 2.86 ERA)
TOR: Cecil (2-2, 6.34 ERA)

WSH: Gonzalez (12-5, 3.32 ERA)
NYM: Dickey (13-1, 2.84 ERA)

BOS: Buchholz (8-3, 5.19 ERA)
TEX: Perez (1-1, 5.54 ERA)

ATL: Hudson (8-4, 3.70 ERA)
MIA: Buehrle (9-9, 3.29 ERA)

MIN: De Vries (2-2, 3.95 ERA)
CHW: Quintana (4-1, 2.30 ERA)

CIN: Leake (3-6, 4.25 ERA)
HOU: Harrell (7-7, 4.24 ERA)

KC: Smith (1-3, 7.97 ERA)
LAA: Richards (3-1, 3.53 ERA)

LAD: Kershaw (7-5, 2.74 ERA)
STL: Wainwright (7-10, 4.42 ERA)

NYY: Garcia (4-3, 5.37 ERA)
SEA: Hernandez (8-5, 2.82 ERA)

COL: Dunnowho (0-0, 0.00 ERA)
ARI: Saunders (4-6, 3.58 ERA)

SD: Volquez (6-7, 3.34 ERA)
SF: Bumgarner (11-6, 3.12 ERA)

[wrveres]

For the umpteenth billionth time ... Scott Hairston and Shrek.

[bigh0rt]

For the umpteenth billionth time ... Scott Hairston and Shrek.

You see Shrek, I see...

[wrveres]

The nose, chin, cheeks and eyebrows are an exact match .... it's shrek

[Skin Blues]

The Yankees aren't short of outfielders, but the fact that they are able to acquire a switch hitting former gold glove winning, still somewhat speedy outfielder for their bench is still troubling to some. Presumably Ichiro will fill the Brett Gardner role on the team

Does it bother anybody that Ichiro has been in the majors for 12 years and Hort doesn't know he only bats left-handed?

[bigh0rt]

The Yankees aren't short of outfielders, but the fact that they are able to acquire a switch hitting former gold glove winning, still somewhat speedy outfielder for their bench is still troubling to some. Presumably Ichiro will fill the Brett Gardner role on the team

Does it bother anybody that Ichiro has been in the majors for 12 years and Hort doesn't know he only bats left-handed?

I just assume all guys who steal bases and hit singles are switch hitters. I think I was just on a roll typing there

[Skin Blues]

Another good write-up though. Good text to meme ratio.

[bigh0rt]

The nose, chin, cheeks and eyebrows are an exact match .... it's shrek

The noses are identical. I'll give you that.

[bigh0rt]

Another good write-up though. Good text to meme ratio.

As long as my write-up peripherals are in order, my performance is tertiary. Thank you sir.

[bigh0rt]

Why am I so nervous trotting Zack Greinke @PHI today, facing Cliff Lee? Is today the day Lee gets his 2nd Win? Greinke hasn't been even close to right since his 1st inning ejection on 7/7, followed by starting the next day, and then the first game out of the All-Star break... He hasn't started since the 13th, so maybe the extra rest has him in a good place? Yet he's still a pretty big dog to the Phils today... Color me suspicious, though not enough to not start him. Also going today, I've got Tim Hudson @MIA, who threw a CGSO last time he faced the Marlins on June 5th. I'll take a repeat of that... please.

Re: Joe Kelly -- who is still happy enough with him to start him vs ChC later this week? His peripherals indicate he's playing well above his head right now, but 6 QS in a row is 6 QS in a row, and it's possible by then the Cubbies are scrambling a pitcher out there as Dempster and potentially Dempster make their exit (despite it probably being Samardzija's day to pitch, as they both pitched yesterday).