I certainly would want the Crawford side of that deal. It is a reasonable offer, but with Granderson bashing the ball like crazy, and Victorino going on the DL, not to mention Haren's reputation for second half slides, I don't see how you could possibly have this accepted.
Granderson/Pence at this point is pretty close, edge to Pence for the track record.
Crawford for Victorino/Kendrick is tough, Crawford is heating up a bit but it's not a slam dunk.
I think you are offering too much, especially for an opening offer. I would do something like Crawford/CC for Haren/Victorino/Kendrick. If he bites, great, if he counters then lets hear what he does. Then you could counter with this deal if he's not too high on Grandy.
I kind of like the new deal, with Butler added from his side.
Butler/Crawford seems about fair for Pujols really. Both Pujols and Crawford are struggling, and both were top 5 picks before the season. Both have immaculate track records and likelihood of each turning it around is great. But, since you get to add Butler, who is slumping a bit, but he is a very solid 1B, this part of the deal is even or possibly slightly your edge.
CC/Haren still a wash. I would take CC in the long run, so your advantage again.
Granderson for Kendrick you are coming out a good deal ahead. Granderson is overperforming a bit, but so is Kendrick. Granderson is still the better fantasy player.
If he adds Butler, it looks like a nice deal to me.