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by **Melo255** » Sat Mar 27, 2004 1:09 am

Not to impede on the great Friday Funnies but I got this email from a friend of mine and it cracked me up-kind of long but if you can spare a few minutes I hope you enjoy.

"Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?"-George 'Dubya' Bush

"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."-Dan Quayle

"I was recently on a tour of Latin America, and the only regret I have was that I didn't study Latin harder in school so I could converse with those people."-Dan Quayle

"It is wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago"-Dan Quayle

Bessie Braddock to Churchill "Winston, your drunk!"
Churchill: "Bessie, you're ugly, and tomorrow morning I shall be sober"

"The President has kept all the promises he intended to keep."
Clinton aide George Stephanopolous.

"I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law."
David Dinkins, New York City Mayor.

"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country."
Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC.

"I have often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my wife to go swimming."
Jimmy Carter.
"I have orders to be awakened at any time in the case of a national emergency, even if I'm in a cabinet meeting."Ronald Reagan.

"It's no exaggeration to say that the undecideds could go one way or another." George Bush.

"I'm glad I'm not Brezhnev. Being the Russian leader in the Kremlin. You never know if someone's tape recording what you say."Richard Nixon.

"Things are more like they are now than they ever were before."
Dwight D. Eisenhower.

"When the President does it, that means that it's not illegal."
Richard Nixon.

"I never drink coffee at lunch. I find it keeps me awake for the afternoon." Ronald Reagan.
"You can tell alot about a fellow's character by his way of eating jellybeans."Ronald Reagan.

"I have opinions of my own - strong opinions - but I don't always agree with them."George Bush

"China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese."
Former French President Charles de Gaulle.

"It is true that liberty is precious; so precious that it must be carefully rationed." Lenin.

"The main difference for the history of the world if I had been shot rather than Kennedy is that Onassis probably wouldn't have married Mrs Khrushchev." Nikita Khrushchev.

"The truth is that men are tired of liberty." Benito Mussolini.

"Never believe anything in politics until it has been officially denied."
Otto Von Bismark.

"A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul." George Bernard Shaw.

"An ideal form of government is democracy tempered with assassination." Voltaire.

"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it."
A Congressional Candidate in Texas.

"Apart from that Mrs Lincoln, how did you enjoy the play?"
Tom Lehrer.

"We expect the Salvadorean officials to work towards the extremination of human rights."
Dan Quayle.