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Jayson Werth's New Beard

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Jayson Werth's New Beard

Postby smoovethug » Wed Feb 24, 2010 2:08 am

Screw you new guns David Wright!

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So that being said, I offer you several reasons why Jayson Werth grew a beard:

1) Athletes are superstitious by nature. If experiencing a hitting streak, athletes have been rumored to wear the same socks or underwear until the streak ended. If Werth does not shave until he signs a new deal, he could become the third-string catcher, with the elongated beard acting as a chest protector.

Remember Wrigley Field last year when Shane Victorino put his hands up in the air after the ball disappeared in the center field ivy? If a player does not play the ball and surrenders his right to field the ball in the Wrigley ivy, it becomes a ground-rule double. Same goes for a batted ball that gets stuck in Werth's beard: ground-rule double.

2) Werth has a pen in his beard, so at all times, even between innings, if a new contract is given to him and he agrees to the terms, he can sign the deal.

3) Werth grew the beard to hide the fact that he is taking steroids (kidding). Reporters will continue to ask questions about the beard, while at the All-Star break, Werth has 31 homers.

4) Following the 2010 season, Werth will announce that on off days and when traveling, he lived in the woods, hunted, caught and cooked his own food for a reality show on TBS.

5) Werth could not attract Jeff Garcia or Mike Piazza's wives, so he grew his own beard.

6) Werth does not give a flying **&&%^%^%%^ about all this hoopla over his beard and just wants to concentrate on this season and play the best baseball he can.

OK, that last one is serious.

I just wanted to have a little fun. Can you imagine the headline if Werth messes up with the beard in tow, like getting thrown out stealing home: "Phillies, Werth Lose By A Hair."


http://bleacherreport.com/articles/3508 ... -that-hair
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Re: Jayson Werth's New Beard

Postby AussieDodger » Wed Feb 24, 2010 2:14 am

Best.Thread.Ever
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Re: Jayson Werth's New Beard

Postby The Artful Dodger » Wed Feb 24, 2010 2:24 am

Looks like a cross between Pau Gasol and a Geico caveman. That is one epic, awesome beard.
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Re: Jayson Werth's New Beard

Postby Dan Lambskin » Wed Feb 24, 2010 9:20 am

i saw him on Hot Stove yesterday...he looked like an extra from Harry and the Hendersons
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Re: Jayson Werth's New Beard

Postby Fade2White12 » Wed Feb 24, 2010 9:24 am

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Re: Jayson Werth's New Beard

Postby Dan Lambskin » Wed Feb 24, 2010 9:37 am

at least Dan Haren no longer has the worst hair in baseball
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Re: Jayson Werth's New Beard

Postby bigken117 » Wed Feb 24, 2010 10:00 am

is he in the best shape of his life this spring?
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Re: Jayson Werth's New Beard

Postby silverZ » Wed Feb 24, 2010 11:45 am

He just shot up my OF rankings.
Here's the pitch on the way, a swing and a belt! Left field! Way back! BLUE JAYS WIN!
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Re: Jayson Werth's New Beard

Postby Element » Wed Feb 24, 2010 3:50 pm

Analysis on statistics and newly grown facial hair coming soon ...
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Re: Jayson Werth's New Beard

Postby MasterX1918 » Thu Feb 25, 2010 1:39 am

Wake me up when he gets lasik eye surgery
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