kinda like getting married
So this guy is out having some beers with his friend and starts complaining a little about his wife, "Man, I can't be out too late bro, my wife gets upset and wants to know where the hell I've been; everytime I come home late I drive up to the house real quietly, park the car real quietly, try to enter the house real stealthily like, go upstairs to the bedroom and try to sneak into bed, but man, she's ALWAYS awake, always like, "Where the hell have you been!!", it drives me crazy".
His friend just smiles and kind of shakes his head a little, and says, "Man, you're going about it all wrong, when I stay out late drinking I get home, slam the door as loud as I can, stomp up the stairs, make no effort at all to be quiet, jump into bed, slap her ass and say, "Hey baby, you think I could get some tonight?", it's amazing, she ALWAYS stays sound asleep."