The Onion Sold to the Chinese

[acsguitar]

Just go to theOnion.com Today it has been sold to the Chinese. I pray for us all

[Pogotheostrich]

As usual the Onion is awesome.

[AquaMan2342]

Last chance to purchase goods of failed Onion newspaper!

[Pogotheostrich]

[acsguitar]

Read about Jason Kendalls sacrifice bunt

[knapplc]

MILWAUKEE—In an act of selflessness not often seen amongst ego-driven American athletes, who typically look only to further their own personal agendas, hero Milwaukee Brewers player Jason Kendall placed a bunted ball back to the pitcher Tuesday with full knowledge that he himself would be eliminated from scoring contention for the duration of the contest's fifth inning. Receiving upon his return to the dugout a mere smattering of high fives from his ignorant teammates and but one hand-clap from the staff of coaching elders, Kendall was not properly greeted as a hero responsible for the very 90-foot advancement of teammates Mat Gamel and J.J. Hardy to second and third base respectively. Due to his undying devotion to the singular cause of winning, even at the cost of his own personal downfall, Jason Kendall is the greatest player to ever play the game of baseball.鱼

[acsguitar]

Due to his undying devotion to the singular cause of winning, even at the cost of his own personal downfall, Jason Kendall is the greatest player to ever play the game of baseball.

[bigken117]

teh onion is teh suck

[The Artful Dodger]

teh onion is teh suck

Correction: it's teh sucky sucky now.

[knapplc]

Oh. Groan.