Poor guy... All they wanted to do was say good things about Matt Weiters, but around the 10th post, it suddenly turns on Adam Eaton.
Someone should do a site that goes the other way.
Adam Eaton once threw a pitch, and a batter hit it.
Adam Eaton walked into a bar and it broke his pitching arm. Nobody noticed.
It happens to an NFL draftee every year, but Adam Eaton was the MLB first player ever to be designated "Mr. Irrelevant".
Adam Eaton doesn't wait. He sleeps.
Adam Eaton once created a rock so heavy he couldn't lift it. Everyone else could, though, because it was a pretty small rock.
Adam Eaton can't get a hit off Stephen Strasburg or strike out Matt Wieters. He also cannot strike out Stephen Strasburg or get a hit off Matt Wieters.
There's no such thing as a juiced ball, just seasons in which Adam Eaton pitches more.
My favorite: The shortest distance between two points in an Adam Eaton curve ball.
Adam Eaton isn't aware he's pitching, he thinks he's trying to pick the runner off of home plate.
Once, while watching a young pitcher, Adam Eaton detected a flaw in his delivery. Being friendly and helpful, and not in the same division, Eaton called up the pitcher and told him how to fix the flaw...right before the 2000 NLCS began.
Adam Eaton auditioned for "Major League". He didn't get the part as the producers found it too unbelievable that a major league team would employ him, even one trying to lose. On his way home, he stopped by the place he had been most successful to think. The empty backstop in the park had only hit .324/.408/.609 off Adam, but that day it was filled with Tom Emanski and his video crews. That's when Adam found his true calling: the "after" BP pitcher for Tom Emanski videos.
One time when Adam Eaton was running late for a game he was supposed to start, he was pulled over for speeding to the ballpark. After explaining the situation to the officer, he was promptly arrested and jailed.
Most Ballplayers Talk About Themselves In The First Person. Rickey Henderson Talked About Himself In The Third Person. Matt Wieters Talks About Himself In The Fourth Person. When Adam Eaton talks about himself, he's "Dennis Tankersley." It's less humiliating.
My local batting cage has three options for beginning baseball players: 35 MPH baseball, slow-pitch softball, and Adam Eaton.
Second-favorite: Adam Eaton once promised a sick boy that he'd give up only three homers in the next game for him. He gave up four, and the boy died.
The stadium-building boom in Major League Baseball isn't a wasteful giveaway by municipalities. It was the only way to combat structural damage to upper decks caused by Adam Eaton's curveball.
The reason Chuck Norris can divide by zero is that he was once asked to compute Adam Eaton's ERA.
Third-favorite: Adam Eaton has been within 26 outs of a perfect game.
awesome...dug this out of my email archives from 2005
Me: man, i offered some guy in my roto league (who is dead last in K's and Wins and 35 points out of 1st) Adam Eaton and Ryan Wagner for Marino Rivera (he still has Foulke, Shields, Fuentes, and Bruney) and he told me it was a RIDICLIOUS offer. was it really that unreasonable, especially given his situation?
BTW, the other day he offered me Bruney for Morneau, adn i cant remember if i rejected with a nasty comment or not, but thats freaking ridiclious!
my buddy's response: I am pretty convinced that Dave just doesn't know how to make a fair trade.
An example of a fair trade for Rivera would be...........
Mark Mulder + Wagner for Rivera
Wagner is worthless at this point....
me: wow Erik, your right, those 3 extra hits Eaton has given up far outweigh the additional 7 K's and better ERA that Eaton has. quit living on last years stats and big names and maybe you can win a Fantasy championship some day
Player Compare Year to Date MLB Standard Stats Player INN GS W L S K BBI HA ERA WHIP Eaton, Adam SP SD 65.3 11 7 1 0 48 19 69 3.582 1.347 Mulder, Mark SP STL 67.7 10 7 1 0 41 19 66 3.724 1.256
in fact, i'll bet you $50 that Eaton ends up with stats than Mulder at the end of the year. we'll count Wins, K's, ERA, and Whip, with a point awarded for each category the player leads in. if we end up in a tie we'll use total fantasy points from Todd's league as a tie-breaker
my buddy:I have no doubt that Mulder will beat Eaton in W and WHIP, and will beat Eaton in fantasy points in our league. I'll take the bet.
The only reason why Eaton may even be close to Mulder is the fact that he plays in SD, the most pitcher friendly park in all of baseball.
Player INN GS QS CG W L S BS K BBI HA ERA WHIP FPTS Mulder, Mark SP STL 205.0 32 18 3 16 8 0 0 111 70 212 3.64 1.38 472.0 Eaton, Adam SP BAL 128.7 22 11 0 11 5 0 0 100 44 140 4.27 1.43 314.3
My favorite (I was at this game. Should have known Eaton was behind it.)
Once, while watching a young pitcher, Adam Eaton detected a flaw in his delivery. Being friendly and helpful, and not in the same division, Eaton called up the pitcher and told him how to fix the flaw...right before the 2000 NLCS began.
Little known fact: Eaton decided it would be easier for him to learn by watching pitches from the batter's point of view. He quickly developed a power stroke and went on to hit 25 HRs.
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by JTWood » Mon May 11, 2009 9:19 am 
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