Best. Web Site. Ever.

[KCollins1304]

Bump

(603): Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
(1-603) Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know

[Dan Lambskin]

(440): tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors

(321): I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.

(845): At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare

(773): Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?

[Metroid]

(440): tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors

(321): I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.

(845): At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare

(773): Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?

Those last two killed me.

[Dan Lambskin]

bored again...this site is WIN

(843): Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.

(231): Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?

wonder if that one was to Aquaman

(731): I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
(601): Talk to you next week

(323): I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.

(805): My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.

(859): I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
(1-859): Well... I doubt that.

(310): she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
(1-310): ewwww. she might as well have a (man part).

(803): I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you

Aqua again

(850): paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury

[bigh0rt]

I am addicted to this site. I check it every night. It's just too hysterical, and I need to start submitting some that I've sent/received, because this is so close to home

[The Artful Dodger]

I am addicted to this site. I check it every night. It's just too hysterical, and I need to start submitting some that I've sent/received, because this is so close to home

What, I swore 60% of those texts were yours.

[AquaMan2342]

Glad to know a couple of my texts have made it onto the site.

[urbanbreez]

The title of this thread is as accurate as it gets.

[Metroid]

(864): and the officer said have you been drinking
(864): and i said NOO SIR.
(864): and he said, I am a woman.

(914): Did I miss anything?
(1-914): A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
(914): so we also did drugs

(702): can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
(702): maybe shoes and water too
(702): oh and maybe a noose to hang myself

(781): i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
(1-781): didn't that happen to you last weekend?
(781): shut up.

(818): Jake died.
(310): WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
(818): Oops typo. Jake cried.

(313): so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...

(843): the red head has a bf
(1-843): just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score

(217): What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.

(202): therell be strippers and coke right?
(703): no strippers. just coke.
(202): i hate this recession

(902): and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.

[mtxdevil]

(818): Jake died.
(310): WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
(818): Oops typo. Jake cried.

ahahahaha.