Question for the Cafe

[knapplc]

We're a witty group of guys here, so we should be able to figure out a solution to this predicament. This morning while in line at the coffee shop this crazy hot girl comes in and stands in line behind me. I get a glimpse as she walks in the door – legs, face, figure, hair, sundress – she’s really well put together.

But all I got was a glimpse, and that wasn’t enough to fully appreciate her loveliness. The problem is, she’s standing right behind me in line. I can’t just turn around and ogle her, that won’t work. I tried looking at her reflection in the pastries window but it was no good. By the way, she smelled great, too. Total package, this girl.

So what do I do? How can I fully appreciate the beauty of a girl in a respectful way when she’s standing right behind me? There has to be a way.

[Pogotheostrich]

So you want to "respectfully" ogle a beautiful woman?

Why not grab you coffee and take a seat?

[Yoda]

Offer her the beautiful gift of 'the box':
1. Cut a hole in a box
2. Put your junk in that box
3. Make her open the box

...and that's the way you do it!

[OneLoveBoomer]

Would it be impossible to talk to her?

[NorthSider2]

Ask her for some change for the coffee. Or make it look like you are looking for someone at the door

[thedude]

You could ask her if she is a racecar driver.

[AussieDodger]

Turn around?

Offer her the beautiful gift of 'the box':
1. Cut a hole in a box
2. Put your junk in that box
3. Make her open the box

...and that's the way you do it!

Yeah that's my second choice. I don't know if knapple had popcorn on hand though.

[knapplc]

You can't tell me you guys have never been in this situation, right? There's a beautiful woman, you want to appreciate her beauty (nothing sinister, just appreciate), but there's not a good way to do so without making it look like you're some kind of lecher. That's the predicament. What do/did you do?

Turn around?

She was 18 inches behind me, so this wouldn't be very comfortable for either of us, you know? Had I just turned around it would have resembled a Monty Python skit more than real life.

You could ask her if she is a racecar driver.

If she was, what good would that do me? She'd bat for the other team, not mine! It's also a good time to point out that I'm happily married, so all I'm looking for is a glimpse, not a phone number or anything.

Ask her for some change for the coffee. Or make it look like you are looking for someone at the door

Good stuff. It would have looked odd to ask for change, then turn around and pay with a card, though. The "someone at the door" thing is good, but you'd have to really pull that off well or it would be too obvious that you're ogling. But good idea.

Would it be impossible to talk to her?

Sure, but about what? You have to have an opening for that, like she dropped her change or some event happened. It was a pretty quiet morning at Starbucks, unfortunately. But this is a good idea, if only there had been that "in" if you know what I mean.

Offer her the beautiful gift of 'the box':

You are a sad, desperate man. But funny.

So you want to "respectfully" ogle a beautiful woman?

Why not grab you coffee and take a seat?

I was already late for work, or I might have. Although, this would have been so out of character for me that the people behind the counter (who know me quite well), might have said something, thus blowing my cover.

[AussieDodger]

If I was that desperate to look at her, I would have just turned around and said "How's it going?"
I don't know if you have that sort of confidence.

And if it comes out weird or creepy, she's a stranger so who cares what she thinks?

[Art Vandelay]

My brother's fiancee, who by any measure is drop-dead gorgeous, had an incident happen at a Starbucks recently. She was standing at the end of the line when a guy who had just purchased some coffee "accidently" dropped his change near her on the way out. As he beant down seemingly to pick it up, he instead licked her toes then ran out of the store.