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Age Difference in Dating

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Re: Age Difference in Dating

Postby DK » Mon Jul 07, 2008 4:56 pm

Elijah said a woman half your age plus seven years is a plush way to live.
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Re: Age Difference in Dating

Postby The Artful Dodger » Mon Jul 07, 2008 6:21 pm

It really depends on context. My father is 9 years older than my mom, but the thing was when they got married he was 42, she was 33. :-b

If I could be serious for a minute, I think there has to be a certain degree of emotional maturity for both parties. A 28 year-old dating an 18 year-old isn't wrong but it sure sounds odd, wrong or not. Sure, it's perceivable that an 18 year old can be wiser and more mature than his/her years indicate, but realistically it's just not that frequent to see. A big part of it is they haven't gone through the kind of life experiences that a 28 year old has gone through and during this span, it's arguably the most crucial life transition (high school into college into working life, family life, so on). With it, comes changes in lifestyles, habits, and perspectives. It's a different thing when say, you at 38 dated someone at 28 because more or less there's more likely to be a common foundational maturity level between the two.
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Re: Age Difference in Dating

Postby thedude » Mon Jul 07, 2008 6:42 pm

:-?

Once a person hits about 20 or 21 i think they are mature enough to date anyone of any age, but i don't think 18 year olds are. At 18 most people are college freshmen. They are living away from home for the first time. They have never held a full time job. They may have had only one or two relations in their life, and those relationships probably lasted only a couple of years at most. An 18 year old is still financially dependent on his or her parents.

A 28 year has completed college (and maybe grad school), has probably held a full-time job. Probably doesn't live at home. Most 28 years have lived away from home for some time. Has had several relationships (probably a couple more serious than anything an 18 year could possibly been involved in). A 28 year has financial independence.

A lot of maturing happens in people when they first leave home.
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Re: Age Difference in Dating

Postby knapplc » Mon Jul 07, 2008 7:29 pm

thedude, you're not wrong, it's just that people mature at very different rates. I have a friend who is 12 years younger than me. She's probably more mature than I, and we converse on an equal level. I know people her age who seem like foolish children to me (and they are, believe me). Maturity is such a different thing for different people that you really can't lay a blanket statement out there.

The reason we have Age of Consent laws is that it would be, as has been said, too difficult to go through a case-by-case analysis to determine if it's OK for THIS guy to date/marry THIS girl. It's a matter of convenience as much as anything else.
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Re: Age Difference in Dating

Postby bigh0rt » Mon Jul 07, 2008 8:20 pm

As long as the elder statesman can legally drink. Wait, what?
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Re: Age Difference in Dating

Postby Snakes Gould » Mon Jul 07, 2008 11:02 pm

Art Vandelay wrote:
Polar Bear wrote:My personal belief is that he/she needs to be above the legal age of 18, after that I don't care. I had grandparents that were 8 years apart and I have known of plenty happy marriages where there was a 10 year age difference. The big thing for me is that they need to be past the age of 18 and at least out of high school. It's not cool for a 28 year old to go to a senior prom, sorry, it is just not.

This reasoning is funny to me...so it's not okay for a 28-year-old to date an 18-year-old in May, but it's perfectly fine for the same 28-year-old to date the same 18-year-old in June? Legally, it would be impossible for the judicial system to look at ever instance on a case-by-case basis, which is why an age limit is necessary, but morally/ethically, there's no way to make blanket statements about what is right or wrong when it comes to someone in their 20s dating someone in their late teens.


exactly what i was going to say. you're saying its "wrong" because the united states government says its wrong, but if you were to move to say france and the legal age of consent was 14, would you be ok with dating a 15 yr old?

same thing applies to drinking. under 21 here, and its wrong, yet you can go to quite a few places in the world and have a glass of wine at dinner legally at the age of 13.
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Re: Age Difference in Dating

Postby AussieDodger » Tue Jul 08, 2008 12:12 am

There is a difference between shagging and dating in this situation.

A lot of 18-19 yo girls are smokingly hot, and of course you would wear them out, but long-term relationship? No way.
I have found that a lot, even when I was that age. I have always been into older women because you can have a decent conversation with them. (My g/f is 9 years older then me). ;-D
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Re: Age Difference in Dating

Postby The Artful Dodger » Tue Jul 08, 2008 12:16 am

AussieDodger wrote:There is a difference between shagging and dating in this situation.

A lot of 18-19 yo girls are smokingly hot, and of course you would wear them out, but long-term relationship? No way.
I have found that a lot, even when I was that age. I have always been into older women because you can have a decent conversation with them. (My g/f is 9 years older then me). ;-D


I have a cousin in his 40's and for as far back as I could remember, he had a thing for older women. Shoot, he was in a relationship with his uncle's ex-wife when she was on the rebound. Freaky. %-6
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Re: Age Difference in Dating

Postby Snakes Gould » Tue Jul 08, 2008 12:27 am

AussieDodger wrote:There is a difference between shagging and dating in this situation.

A lot of 18-19 yo girls are smokingly hot, and of course you would wear them out, but long-term relationship? No way.
I have found that a lot, even when I was that age. I have always been into older women because you can have a decent conversation with them. (My g/f is 9 years older then me). ;-D


yeah but when you're 31 and conceivably could still pull some college or even fresh out of college meat, she's 40 and could be hitting menopause. :-P
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Re: Age Difference in Dating

Postby AussieDodger » Tue Jul 08, 2008 12:51 am

Snakes Gould wrote:yeah but when you're 31 and conceivably could still pull some college or even fresh out of college meat, she's 40 and could be hitting menopause. :-P


I'd rather be with someone I actually like, then to be a roaming tomcat.
"Tomcatting" is fun and "glamarous", but it is only temporary.
You'll come to the same conclusion eventually. ;-D ;-D
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