Not exactly the confidence level you'd prefer your closer to exude...
Yahoo Player Note:"
May 10 RHP Jason Isringhausen, after blowing his fifth save in 16 tries and suffering his fourth loss, said it was time for manager Tony La Russa, pitching coach Dave Duncan and general manager John Mozeliak to consider finding another closer "until I can get on track. "I'm just sick of embarrassing myself and letting my team down," Isringhausen said after allowing four straight hitters to reach base in the bottom of the ninth inning with two outs. After Isringhausen got the first two men on two pitches -- center fielder Rick Ankiel had to run a distance and then make a jumping catch on Milwaukee third baseman Bill Hall -- Isringhausen allowed singles to shortstop J.J. Hardy and pinch hitter Gabe Kapler, walked catcher Jason Kendall and allowed a two-run game-ending single by second baseman Rickie Weeks. "They can't keep sending me out there the way I've pitched," Isringhausen said. "Get somebody in there who can do a better job." Isringhausen's meltdown this season is reminiscent of 2006 when he blew 10 saves but labored much of the season with a bad hip which required surgery. "In '06, I had an explanation but never told anybody," he said. "Now I have no explanation but I'm pitching like a second grader."
Ouch.
Maybe they could bring Ankiel in to close, have him throw from the edge of the grass behind 2B, a la Eddie Feigner of King and His Court fame.
Seriously, Ankiel seems to have a deadly accurate arm from anywhere other than the mound - see his two putouts the other day??
Man with a gun, call 911.
Sorry for the lame Stuart Scott ref...