An Irish Story
One day an Irishman, who has been stranded on a desert
island for over ten long years,
sees an unusual speck on the horizon.
"It's certainly not a ship," he thinks to himself. As the
speck gets closer and closer, he
begins to rule out the possibilities of a small boat, then
Suddenly, emerging from the surf comes a drop dead gorgeous
blonde woman wearing a
wet suit and scuba gear.
She approaches the stunned man and says to him, "Tell me how
it been since you've had a cigarette?"
"Ten years," replies the Irishman.
With that, she reaches over and unzips a waterproof pocket
on her left sleeve and pulls
out a pack of fresh cigarettes. He takes one, lights it,
takes a long drag and says, "Faith
and begorah! Is that good!"
"And how long has it been since you've had a sip of good
Irish Whiskey?" she asks
Trembling, the castaway replies, "Ten years."
She reaches over, unzips her right sleeve, pulls out a flask
and hands it to him. He opens
the flask, takes a long swig and says, "Tis absolutely
At this point she starts slowly unzipping the long zipper
that runs down the front of her
wet suit, looks at the man and asks, "And how long has it
been since you've played
With tears in his eyes, the man falls to his knees and sobs,
"Oh, Sweet Jesus! Don't tell
me you've got golf clubs in there too."
Yes doctor, I am sick.
Sick of those who are spineless.
Sick of those who feel self-entitled.
Sick of those who are hypocrites.
Yes doctor, an army is forming.
Yes doctor, there will be a war.
Yes doctor, there will be blood.....