Best Rotoworld News Blurb Comments

[Super Manny]

Post your favorites as you see them.

I've read a couple of good one-liners in the past few days...

Keiichi Yabu-R - Giants, Apr. 6 - 8:50 pm et
Keiichi Yabu’s status for Monday’s game is uncertain after he hurt his eyes when the elastic bands he was working out with Saturday became unhooked and snapped across his face.
The blurred vision would be a bigger problem, but it prevents him from actually having to watch his team play. Giants fans everywhere will be trying to duplicate the effects by the end of the month.

Jimmy Rollins-SS- Phillies, Apr. 8 - 8:25 pm et
Jimmy Rollins is optimistic about playing Wednesday after leaving Tuesday's game with a sprained left ankle.
"I could've stayed in the game, but it wouldn't have made sense," Rollins said. "We've got a healthy guy on the bench and I'd be doing more to hurt my team than help." In Philadelphia, that's known as pulling an Eaton.

[HasteTheDay]

That first one actually made me lol.

[cookman]

Randy Johnson (back) allowed three runs and fanned seven in six innings Tuesday in his second rehab start for Triple-A Tucson. A better showing than when he allowed five runs in four innings last week. Johnson is likely to come off the disabled list and face the Giants on Monday. We'll check with MLB and get clarification on whether that would qualify as a third rehab start.

[bobbing_headz]

I was just reading this on rotoworld:

Albert Pujols went 3-for-4 with two homers and a walk to lead the Cardinals past the Astros 6-4 on Wednesday.
After the game, the Cardinals announced the acquisition of Brandon Backe. They don't need the pitching help; they just want him to start yelling at Pujols during batting practice every night. Pujols entered the game with a .320 average, but he had just one RBI in eight games. Too often he's going to have to do the heavy lifting himself if the Cardinals are going to score runs.

I thought they were serious and spent like 15 minutes trying to verify it .

Stupid rotoworld Good for Pujols though

[Super Manny]

Livan Hernandez-S-Twins, Apr. 11 - 11:19 pm et
Livan Hernandez won a third straight start by shutting out the Royals for seven innings on Friday.
Who is this overweight alien and what has he done with one of our favorite whipping boys? Hernandez finally walked a batter tonight, but he still hasn't allowed a homer in 21 innings. Pitching in the easier league, he gave up 34 homers and 79 walks in 204 1/3 innings last year.

[neoforce]

Clayton Kershaw-S- Dodgers Apr. 16 - 4:56 am et
Clayton Kershaw dropped to 0-3 for Double-A Jacksonville despite allowing one run in six innings on Tuesday.
The kid just doesn't know how to win. Pairing with Matt Kemp and sending him to the Marlins for Luis Gonzalez might be the Dodgers' only option.

[MasterX1918]

It's not really funny, but everyday when I go on Rotoworld there seems to be a different report on Kaz Matsui's ass problems

Kaz Matsui will miss four to five days with an anal fissure.
That's an unnatural tear or crack in the anus skin, for those of you not in the know. Matsui is expected to be out until at least Friday. Anal fissures can become chronic problems, but the Astros hope using a different medication will sooth Matsui's issue.

[Slow Pitch]

It's not really funny, but everyday when I go on Rotoworld there seems to be a different report on Kaz Matsui's ass problems

Kaz Matsui will miss four to five days with an anal fissure.
That's an unnatural tear or crack in the anus skin, for those of you not in the know. Matsui is expected to be out until at least Friday. Anal fissures can become chronic problems, but the Astros hope using a different medication will sooth Matsui's issue.

Is it known what caused this anal fissure? Is Kaz gay, into some kinky stuff, naturally occuring, a bad fall of some kind??

[MasterX1918]

It's not really funny, but everyday when I go on Rotoworld there seems to be a different report on Kaz Matsui's ass problems

Kaz Matsui will miss four to five days with an anal fissure.
That's an unnatural tear or crack in the anus skin, for those of you not in the know. Matsui is expected to be out until at least Friday. Anal fissures can become chronic problems, but the Astros hope using a different medication will sooth Matsui's issue.

Is it known what caused this anal fissure? Is Kaz gay, into some kinky stuff, naturally occuring, a bad fall of some kind??

I honestly have no clue. I looked up anal fissures on wikipedia and not many things cause them. So either Kaz is gay or he took a really furious dump.

[Ryno23]

Miguel Tejada celebrated his two birthdays going 3-for-4 with a home run Thursday against the Phillies.