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Kaz Matsui - mysterious hemorrhoids?

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Kaz Matsui - mysterious hemorrhoids?

Postby BitterDodgerFan » Fri Feb 29, 2008 11:48 pm


Kaz Matsui was a mysterious scratch from Friday's lineup.
The official diagnosis given was hemorrhoids. However, manager Cecil Cooper said after the game "it wasn't what we thought it was." Cooper guaranteed the second baseman will play on Saturday.
:-D
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Re: Kaz Matsui - mysterious hemorrhoids?

Postby Chicago RedSox » Sat Mar 01, 2008 7:15 pm

Uhhh.... what kind of new-player hazing do they do down there in Houston?

"Turn around Kaz. Now what's it going to be....the HGH needle or Carlos Lee's bat?"
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Re: Kaz Matsui - mysterious hemorrhoids?

Postby BitterDodgerFan » Sat Mar 01, 2008 10:01 pm

the funny part is the manager saying it isn't what they thought it was... so what the hell else can it be? and did he examine it himself? :-D
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Re: Kaz Matsui - mysterious hemorrhoids?

Postby Fade2White12 » Tue Mar 11, 2008 11:20 am

I was in such suspense. Thank you Rotoworld for this most important update:

"Kaz Matsui will miss four to five days with an anal fissure.
That's an unnatural tear or crack in the anus skin, for those of you not in the know. Matsui is expected to be out until at least Friday. Anal fissures can become chronic problems, but the Astros hope using a different medication will sooth Matsui's issue."
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Re: Kaz Matsui - mysterious hemorrhoids?

Postby BitterDodgerFan » Tue Mar 11, 2008 2:25 pm

sounds like a serious roids problem. :-°
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Re: Kaz Matsui - mysterious hemorrhoids?

Postby Strasil42 » Wed Mar 12, 2008 1:47 am

Most anal fissures are caused by stretching of the anal mucosa beyond its capability. Various causes of this fissure include:

* Straining to defecate, especially if the stool is hard and dry
* Severe and chronic constipation
* Severe and chronic diarrhea
* Crohn's disease and Ulcerative colitis
* Tight sphincter muscles
* Anal intercourse


from wiki


8-o 8-o
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Re: Kaz Matsui - mysterious hemorrhoids?

Postby boston_massacre » Wed Mar 12, 2008 11:27 am

I think something got lost in the translation when teammates told him that "roids" would make him a better player...
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Re: Kaz Matsui - mysterious hemorrhoids?

Postby dobie76 » Wed Mar 12, 2008 3:23 pm

Pretty debilatating condition that is guaranteed to recur. My brother-in-law had to have surgery for it. Said it was the most horrible pain he'd ever felt. X-I I wonder if Matsui has had the problem in the past & if it affects his future??? %-6 8-o
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Re: Kaz Matsui - mysterious hemorrhoids?

Postby BitterDodgerFan » Wed Mar 12, 2008 6:35 pm

dobie76 wrote:Pretty debilatating condition that is guaranteed to recur. My brother-in-law had to have surgery for it. Said it was the most horrible pain he'd ever felt. X-I I wonder if Matsui has had the problem in the past & if it affects his future??? %-6 8-o

so this anal fissure will comeback throughout the season? that can't be good. i'm gonna have to lower him in my rankings. btw, how long would a surgery keep him out for?
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