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Mental Health Hospital Answering Machine

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Mental Health Hospital Answering Machine

Postby Madison » Sun Feb 15, 2004 5:40 am

Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline......"
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5, and 6.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the
line
so we can trace your call.
If you are delusional, press 7 and we will transfer your call to the
mother
ship.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell
you
which number to press.
If you are a manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you
press, no
one will answer.
If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.
If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the pound key until
a
representative
comes on the line.
If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, telephone
number,
date of birth, social security number, and your mother's maiden name.
If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, s-l-o-w-l-y and
c-a-r-e-f-u-l-l-y press 0 0 0.
If you have bi-polar disorder, please leave a message after the beep or
before the
beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. Our operators are too busy
to
talk to you.
If you are menopausal, hang up, turn on the fan, lay down and cry. You
won't be crazy forever.
If you are blonde don't press any buttons, you'll just mess it up.



Yes doctor, I am sick.
Sick of those who are spineless.
Sick of those who feel self-entitled.
Sick of those who are hypocrites.
Yes doctor, an army is forming.
Yes doctor, there will be a war.
Yes doctor, there will be blood.....
Madison
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Postby Sox FANatic001 » Sun Feb 15, 2004 10:58 am

:-b :-b

so i must press....
Lets Go patsox!

yay! sox win!!!
bambino-1918-2004
Rest In Pain ;-)

Big David Ortiz Rocks my socks off
him and pokey
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Postby kentx12 » Sun Feb 15, 2004 2:27 pm

lmao ;-D
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Postby DieHardCubbie » Sun Feb 15, 2004 8:26 pm

LMAO..... ;-D
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