Maybe there's some sort of animal that we could make a sacrifice to. Like, a giant buffalo. Or some sort of monster. Like something with the body of a walrus, and with the head of a sea lion. Or something with the body of an egret, and with the head of a merecat. Or just...the head of a monkey, antlers of a reindeer, with the body of...a porcupine.
Sometimes it takes a crazy person to see the truth. If so, I'm a freaking lunatic.