I have a friend, now a married couple, who is always late. I am the ride (since I'm the only one with a car here in the city) and I'm waiting for them to get here. Folks that are constantly late irk me. Aside from lying to them and giving them a time 30 minutes earlier, what can I do to combat this problem? Even when I do that, I feel they look at Mapquest, see that I am lying, then show up 10 minutes after the google trip time. I need all the friends that I can get, so I can't get rid of him!
I have a really good friend who is like that. If we are meeting 20 miles away or two blocks down the road from her house she will undoubtedly be late. To make matters worse I'm inherently early everywhere I go. It is a bad combo. I have just come to accept it though and usually bring myself something to do while I wait for her. Bring a crossword, the newspaper, a notebook...anything to keep myself occupied.
It's just the way she is...it used to bother me, but what's the point? Getting to where we are going 5 minutes later than I planned often will make no difference. If we have a time we have to be somewhere...I actually do tell her to meet me 5-10 before I actually want to leave. I'll still get there that extra 5-10 minutes early in case she does too, but more often she'll show up more around the time I was originally expecting to leave.
dclark0699 wrote:It's just the way she is...it used to bother me, but what's the point?
I wish I could get to that level of zen. If it was just meeting me someplace, I'd be fine with that, but generally we are meeting up to go someplace else. Thus, I am late because I'm waiting for him to arrive.
theclefe wrote:I need all the friends that I can get, so I can't get rid of him!
That was an interesting thing to say, but that what it boils down to for you. Express your feelings to him and the importance of being on time the next time you need to be somewhere. Add that if he is not there at that time, you will be forced to leave without him.
If you are not willing to take that chance of losing a friend who does not take your feelings or whatever into consideration, then you will have to continue to be disregarded.
A. Tell him how it is and follow up, possibly losing a friend. B. Keep getting walked on by someone you call a friend.
Anyone see that "Everybody Loves Raymond" episode where Ray is upset that Deborah always makes him late? He then leaves without her one night because she was late again. Am I the only one that watches those re-runs anymore?
So what I guess I am saying is that have more patience than Ray. I wouldnt leave without them though.
Yoda wrote:Just don't plan on going somewhere together. Meet them at the place that you are supposed to be at.
Problem is, I'm the only one with a car so often they can't get there without me.
I have good news. Like Ray, he said his wife is the reason they are late. I don't believe that at all. They know they are late often because we pick on them, but after yesterday I think his lady is taking matters into her own hands. She made a "resolution" to never be late again. Even if it is only talk, at least she is trying.
People that are habitually late are selfish, plain and simple. They think their time is more important and more valuable than yours, so they don't care if you want to wait for them.
Art Vandelay wrote:People that are habitually late are selfish, plain and simple. They think their time is more important and more valuable than yours, so they don't care if you want to wait for them.
Then, you won't like living in Argentina.
It's tricky to try to get someone to show up ready on time because people like working their own different way in their routine. Just say that he needs to do things ahead of time if he just so happens to waste so much time. Otherwise, just pass him on by.
My parents were always late, and it's one thing I took into my adulthood as a personal pet peeve. I try to never be late, and when I am, I'm always very mad at myself. But I'm married...
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by theclefe » Sat Oct 20, 2007 12:00 pm 
