reasons not to argue with a child - Fantasy Baseball Cafe 2015 Fantasy Baseball Cafe
100% Deposit Bonus for Cafe Members!

Return to General Talk

reasons not to argue with a child

Moderator: Baseball Moderators

reasons not to argue with a child

Postby kentx12 » Tue Feb 10, 2004 8:19 pm

A little girl: was talking to her teacher about whales.

The teacher: said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.


The little girl stated, "Teacher, Jonah was swallowed by a whale."


Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.


The little girl said, "Teacher, when I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".


The teacher asked, "But what if Jonah went to hell?"


The little girl replied, "Then you ask him".



A Kindergarten teacher: was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.
As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what she was drawing.


The girl: replied, "I'm drawing God."


The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."


Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."



teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face."

"Yes," the class said.

The teacher then said, "Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?"

A little fellow shouted, "Cause your feet ain't empty."



The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching."

Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note and placed it on the cookie platter, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples.
Image

There will come a day when Barry Bonds leaves baseball, and everything about the game will be the better for it.
kentx12
Mod in Retirement
Mod in Retirement

User avatar
CafeholicFantasy ExpertCafe RankerMock(ing) DrafterCafe MusketeerPick 3 Weekly WinnerSweet 16 SurvivorLucky Ladders Weekly Winner
Posts: 17436
(Past Year: 2)
Joined: 8 Dec 2002
Home Cafe: Baseball
Location: Lost

Postby Sox FANatic001 » Tue Feb 10, 2004 9:29 pm

nice :-D :-D :-D

well, if god watches apples then i guess i can... }:-) }:-) }:-)
Lets Go patsox!

yay! sox win!!!
bambino-1918-2004
Rest In Pain ;-)

Big David Ortiz Rocks my socks off
him and pokey
Sox FANatic001
General Manager
General Manager

User avatar
Cafe Ranker
Posts: 2450
Joined: 23 Nov 2003
Home Cafe: Baseball
Location: partying with big papi after the win!

Postby Madison » Tue Feb 10, 2004 11:31 pm

Lol. :-D

Gotta love Jonah and the whale. ;-D
Yes doctor, I am sick.
Sick of those who are spineless.
Sick of those who feel self-entitled.
Sick of those who are hypocrites.
Yes doctor, an army is forming.
Yes doctor, there will be a war.
Yes doctor, there will be blood.....
Madison
Mod in Retirement
Mod in Retirement

User avatar
ExecutiveEditorCafeholicFantasy ExpertCafe WriterCafe RankerMock(ing) DrafterEagle EyeCafe SpotterInnovative MemberCafe MusketeerPick 3 ChampionMatchup Meltdown SurvivorLucky Ladders Weekly Winner
Posts: 53856
(Past Year: 1)
Joined: 29 Apr 2003
Home Cafe: Baseball
Location: Taking Souls...

Postby Andy1234 » Wed Feb 11, 2004 2:25 pm

LOL - Good ones
I believe there ought to be a constitutional amendment outlawing Astroturf and the designated hitter. -Crash Davis

Stewie : [watching a baseball game] Why does that man drop his club before he runs? I would bring it with me!
Andy1234
Major League Manager
Major League Manager

User avatar
Sweet 16 Survivor
Posts: 2062
Joined: 24 Sep 2003
Home Cafe: Baseball

Postby cwebb » Wed Feb 11, 2004 7:10 pm

If I ever have kids, I'l teach them to be just like those lil fellas }:-)
cwebb
Bouncer
Bouncer

User avatar
Fantasy ExpertCafe WriterEagle EyePick 3 Weekly Winner
Posts: 1106
Joined: 4 Jan 2002
Home Cafe: Football
Location: in scoring position

Postby prodpaul » Thu Feb 12, 2004 6:55 am

lol :-D
Image

Tetelestai
prodpaul
General Manager
General Manager

User avatar
CafeholicCafe WriterSweet 16 Survivor
Posts: 2475
Joined: 22 Jan 2003
Home Cafe: Baseball
Location: Kansas City, MO

Postby trevisc » Thu Feb 12, 2004 11:43 am

hahaha..I liked the Jonah one and the cookies one.
trevisc
Hall of Fame Hero
Hall of Fame Hero

User avatar
Fantasy ExpertCafe Ranker
Posts: 11271
Joined: 6 Jan 2003
Home Cafe: Baseball
Location: Fantasy Baseball Cafe 2004,2005 Keeper League Champion

Re: reasons not to argue with a child

Postby DieHardCubbie » Sun Feb 15, 2004 8:07 pm

kentx12 wrote:
teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face."

"Yes," the class said.

The teacher then said, "Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?"

A little fellow shouted, "Cause your feet ain't empty."



LOL..... ;-D
[b]Useless Trivia of the day[/b]

England's Worcester Canoe Club set the world record for paddling a hand-propelled bathtub. The 25 man team covered a distance of 55 miles, 425 yards in 24 hours on September 28 and 29, 1979.
DieHardCubbie
Hall of Fame Hero
Hall of Fame Hero

User avatar
Fantasy ExpertMock(ing) DrafterEagle EyeInnovative MemberPick 3 Weekly Winner
Posts: 13084
Joined: 13 Feb 2003
Home Cafe: Baseball
Location: floating around on the 3rd rock


Return to General Talk

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 7 guests

Forums Articles & Tips Sleepers Rankings Leagues


Get Ready...
The 2015 MLB season starts in 10:25 hours
(and 96 days)

  • Fantasy Baseball
  • Article Submissions
  • Privacy Statement
  • Site Survey 
  • Contact