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Blue is Genetically Inferior

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Blue is Genetically Inferior

Postby Coppermine » Fri Jun 22, 2007 5:45 pm

I found this online, author unknown, but hilarious nonetheless:

Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to
continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a
species. To this end, I hold M&M duels.

Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply
pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and
splinters. That is the "loser," and I eat the inferior one
immediately. The winner gets to go another round.

I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are
tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I
have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive
long in the intense theater of competition that is the modern
candy and snack-food world.

Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is
misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost
invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare
occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the
species continues to adapt to its environment.

When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the
strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat
this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it
to M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc., Hackettstown, NJ
17840-1503 U.S.A., along with a 3x5 card reading, "Please use
this M&M for breeding purposes."

This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon
for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this
"grant money." I have set aside the weekend for a grand
tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the
True Champion.

There can be only one.
If you're a battery, you're either working or you're dead....
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Re: Blue is Genetically Inferior

Postby teddy ballgame » Fri Jun 22, 2007 8:11 pm

Nice. :b
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Re: Blue is Genetically Inferior

Postby beatdrum » Fri Jun 22, 2007 8:13 pm

:B :B :B

I knew a girl who said that she could tell the different colors of m & m's by their taste.

This takes it to a whole new level.
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Re: Blue is Genetically Inferior

Postby Coppermine » Fri Jun 22, 2007 10:00 pm

beatdrum wrote::B :B :B

I knew a girl who said that she could tell the different colors of m & m's by their taste.

This takes it to a whole new level.



Mmm, cherry :B
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Re: Blue is Genetically Inferior

Postby wrveres » Sat Jun 23, 2007 12:06 pm

I remember reading this about 5 years ago.
still funny though
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Re: Blue is Genetically Inferior

Postby The Artful Dodger » Sat Jun 23, 2007 2:08 pm

Coppermine wrote:
beatdrum wrote::B :B :B

I knew a girl who said that she could tell the different colors of m & m's by their taste.

This takes it to a whole new level.



Mmm, cherry :B


Ha, I think there's a slight variance of chocolate flavor with the different colors, but other than that, it's not noticeable.
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Re: Blue is Genetically Inferior

Postby TheA'sFatLeadoffMan » Sat Jun 23, 2007 3:55 pm

Lol, that's great
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Re: Blue is Genetically Inferior

Postby m16a » Sat Jun 23, 2007 8:16 pm

Someone, I believe it was madison, posted this on the light side a few months back. I still get a good laugh reading it though :b
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Re: Blue is Genetically Inferior

Postby Dan Lambskin » Mon Jun 25, 2007 9:16 am

m16a wrote:Someone, I believe it was madison, posted this on the light side a few months back. I still get a good laugh reading it though :b


yeah it was awesome

"Please use
this M&M for breeding purposes."


just one of the funniest things i've ever read
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