So I have been with this girl for about 2 months. We dont consider ourselves dating or in a relationship. But we really like eachother and want to make sure everything is right before we go any further into a relationship. My question is that she tells me that she has a hard time trusting people and that she doesn't trust me...
Am I out of line to say straight up to her "why don't you let me know when you trust me, and then we can continue to hang out and think about a relationship." It just kind of hurts to think she doesn't trust me and I can't be with a girl that doesn't trust me..
I guess my question is that because we are not in a relationship, do I not have the right to put her on the spot like that. I think its insane that she doesn't trust me and there is no way I want to go further with her if she doesn't. Any advice to what I could say to her? Thanks
.....I'll say that I didn't mean that in a man whore type of way.... I just mean that females aren't worth the headache. You will have plenty of time waaaayyyy down the road to settle down and have to put up with the headache, but for right now STAY HAPPY!!!!
well if you really like this girl find out why she doesnt trust anyone including you. im sure something has happened to her in the past. just ask her if you've done anything for her not to trust you down so far (if the answer's no) and then go from there. this is of course if you really like this girl and can see a future with her. if not, well then, you need to go find multiple broads to bone.
I reckon it's one thing to harbor distrust in the opposite sex after being burned out by a few bad relationships (I'll say it's natural even), but it's harsh to say "I don't trust you" when you're in a feeling out phase with her. It takes out of the fun of getting better acquainted with someone you could potentially go steady with. That should tell you a lot about her character/personality as well and if it doesn't fit you, well ditch the...you know what.
Because nothing really seems to be set in stone with her, you should take a "que sera sera" perspective on things. Not so much about caring about what would become of your relationship with her, but exploring other options as well.
It's kinda like the Old Cafe - http://fbc2.freeforums.net
I guess it depends on what you want from the relationship. Nothing she said changes the non-relationship you already had. Maybe it helps explain why it's not a relationship yet. Why did she way what she said and phrase it the way she did? Dunno from what you said. Was she trying to push you away, or just asking for some patience as she works through some things? And if it's the latter, is that ok with you? Are you wanting more from her or are you cool with things they way they have been?
It seems you're a little hurt/offended about things. Can't tell if that was her intention or not, but I'd talk to her about that. Start with the assumption that it wasn't what she meant unless you know otherwise. And if you know otherwise, move on. I'm guessing she's been burned before and just wants to take things slow. Really, what girl hasn't. Let's face it men, most of us are pigs.
Or, it could be she's giving you the brush off. And she'll be giving subtle clues nobody can pick up on other than you. Ask her how she wants to proceed and try to get an honest answer out of her. Bring up the topic of ending it, whatever 'it' is, and see what her reaction is. But I wouldn't give ultimatums for trust. That's something that takes time to build in a relationship and is up to everyone to give out at their own pace. If you determine her schedule won't match what you want/need, wish her all the best and move on down the road.
If you really like her, try to broach the subject of trust, and do everything in your power to earn her trust. If you earn it, that's the only way that it will actually work. However, be cognizant that her issues may be a roadblock that she just can't get past, and this could be doomed from the start. Hope it is not for you, but it has happened to many a guy before, and will happen again.