Yogi Berra's speech to the 2007 graduates of St. Louis University.
StlToday.com wrote:"Thank you all for being here tonight. I know this is a busy time of year, and if you weren't here, you could probably be somewhere else. I especially want to thank the administration at St. Louis University for making this day necessary. It is an honor to receive this honorary degree.
"It is wonderful to be here in St. Louis and to visit the old neighborhood. I haven't been back since the last time I was here. Everything looks the same, only different. Of course, things in the past are never as they used to be.
"Before I speak, I have something I'd like to say. As you may know, I never went to college, or high school for that matter. To be honest, I'm not much of a public speaker, so I will try to keep this short as long as I can.
"As I look out upon all of the young people here tonight, there are a number of words of wisdom I might depart. But I think the most irrelevant piece of advice I can pass along is this:
"The most important things in life are the things that are least important.
"I could have gone a number of directions in my life. Growing up on the Hill, I could have opened a restaurant or a bakery. But the more time I spent in places like that, the less time I wanted to spend there. I knew that if I wanted to play baseball, I was going to have to play baseball. My childhood friend, Joe Garagiola, also became a big-league ballpayer, as did my son, Dale. I think you'll find the similarities in our careers are quite different.
"You're probably wondering, how does a kid from the Hill become a New York Yankee and get in the Hall of Fame? Well, let me tell you something, if it was easy nobody would do it. Nothing is impossible until you make it possible.
"Of course, times were different. To be honest, I was born at an early age. Things are much more confiscated now. It seems like a nickel ain't worth a dime anymore. But let me tell you, if the world was perfect, it wouldn't be. Even Napoleon had his Watergate.
"You'll make some wrong mistakes along the way, but only the wrong survive. Never put off until tomorrow what you can't do today. Denial isn't just a river in Europe.
"Strive for success and remember you won't get what you want unless you want what you get. Some will choose a different path. If they don't want to come along, you can't stop them. Remember, none are so kind as those who will not see.
"Keep the faith and follow the Commandments: Do not covet thy neighbor's wife, unless she has nothing else to wear. Treat others before you treat yourself. As Franklin Eleanor Roosevelt once said, 'The only thing you have to fear is beer itself.'
"Hold on to your integrity, ladies and gentlemen. It's the one thing you really need to have; if you don't have it, that's why you need it. Work hard to reach your goals, and if you can't reach them, use a ladder. There may come a day when you get hurt and have to miss work. Don't worry, it won't hurt to miss work.
"Over the years, I have realized that baseball is really just a menopause for life. We all have limitations, but we also know limitation is the greatest form of flattery. Beauty is in the eyes of Jim Holder.
"Half the lies you hear won't be true, and half the things you say, you won't ever say.
"As parents you'll want to give your children all the things you didn't have. But don't buy them an encyclopedia, make them walk to school like you did. Teach them to have respect for others, especially the police. They are not here to create disorder, they are here to preserve it.
"Throughout my career, I found good things always came in pairs of three. There will be times when you are an overwhelming underdog. Give 100 percent to everything you do, and when that's not enough, give everything you have left. 'Winning isn't everything, but it's better than rheumatism.' I think Guy Lombardo said that.
"Finally, dear graduates and friends, cherish this moment; it is a memory you will never forget. You have your entire future ahead of you.
"Good luck and Bob's speed."
Last edited by StlSluggers on Mon Jun 04, 2007 1:30 pm, edited 1 time in total.
I'm bummed that we never had anyone decent for our commencement speech. We had some girl from our student body talk about how she was just your "typical college student" and proceeded to bore us with memories of late-night studying with her friends and those times they skipped doing homework to watch 7th Heaven.
My graduation commencement commencement speaker at SIUE was the gentleman who designed our campus when the school was built. He was relevant because 80% of the graduates at that ceremony were engineering students. His job as the former City Planner for Philadelphia meant that his expertise was similar to some of the grads, but he was like 9,000 years old. He rambled forever about nothing... Until one point. In the middle of his tedious speech, he said something that had to have been caught by everyone because it explained why we had all suffered so miserably at the school for so many years.
First, a little background. Parking at SIUE sucks. Bad. Even teachers have to walk at least an 1/8th of a mile to get to a campus building, and most students have 1/4-mile walks. They run a bus system from the campus housing, but commuters are SOL. Not one bit of the parking, or the walk to the campus, is covered. In the summer, you better hope it's not raining, and winter is even worse. And none of this takes into account the gaggle of geese that occupy the lake that lies between the parking lots and the c;ass buildings. If the geese aren't biting you, you're dodging their numerous piles of poop. Of course, they're federally protected migratory birds, so they have immunity to any retribution. In summary, the trek from parking to class is quite possibly one of the most miserable experiences I ever endured.
Anyway... getting back to this gentleman's comment. He was reminiscing about when he designed the campus, and he recalled that he decided to put the parking so far away because he thought the long walk would "wake students up" on their way to class. He then made a few comments that essentially said, "You're welcome."
I was shocked. The unbelievably terrible parking that I suffered through was designed purposely to torture me. Jerk.
Bah, I've never heard of a college campus that didn't have a horrible parking situation. Parking was literally miles away from our dorms and in the winter you'd walk across open fields with the wind blowing and you'd seriously rather kill yourself than go home or to class.
If you're a battery, you're either working or you're dead....