Chris B. Young

[WebHamster]

This thread contains comments on Aaron West's Sleeper "Chris B. Young", which was featured in the Cafe's Sleepers section on May 26, 2007. The full article can be read here.

[jamastaballa]

Hey buddy, I liked the article, but have some writing criticism for you if you care...hopefully you do.

I felt like I was sifting through lots of needless words, so in the future, if you want to write this:

Young’s only real weakness is his batting average. So far this year he is hitting .271, which is good considering he started slow. In the minor leagues he was a consistent .270 hitter, so that’s probably what we can expect in the major leagues. If he’s able to cut down on his strikeouts and show a little more patience at the plate, he could easily become a .300 hitter.

You could write this:

Considering Young's slow start, his .271 batting average is respectable, and .300 is within range if he can cut down the strikeouts and show a little more patience at the plate.

See, you're saying the same thing as me, but it just takes less time to say it, and you can get to your next point.

As far as content, I think Young is a solid sleeper-type as well, especially because those Arizona guys have seemed so obscure in recent years. Hope it works out for you!