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Staying friends with your Ex?

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Staying friends with your Ex?

Postby Zito is God » Fri May 25, 2007 11:41 pm

I had a pretty bad break-up with my old girlfriend of 2 years. She ended it because of an extremely superficial reason and thats why it was bad. She's changed a bit but is still a fairly good person. Any point in staying friends? She really wants to but I seem to feel awkward sometimes and after reading the Men's Health study from University of Arizona (Your life gets 1% more miserable everytime you come in contact with an ex) I just don't know if I should do it.

Thoughts? Have YOU stayed friends?
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Postby bigh0rt » Fri May 25, 2007 11:51 pm

There's just no reason for you to. The handful of times I've had to see my ex-fiance the last 6 months have been terrible, and she's voiced wanting to 'stay friends' to a degree, but honestly ask yourself, why would you? You said it yourself that you feel awkward, plus you've got your little study there, so there's no reason for you to ever even see her again, much less be friends with her. All you're doing is trying to keep the door open to try and get back together, whether you believe it or not, and if she broke up with you for a stupid reason, kick her to the curb and find solace in the fact that there's millions of other women to stick your dipstick in out there.
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Postby TheRock » Sat May 26, 2007 12:17 am

Dang, sorry to hear that ZIG. Didn't you pass up a couple hotties a while back for this girl?

I don't put much stock in any study about this, there are far too many variables to be captured. And happiness is a state you can control.

The most important thing is for you to find peace with this. That will take time. During that time, it is probably best if you don't see her. At all. But in the end you need to move on and harbor her no ill will. That does not mean you need to maintain any kind for relationship with her, and for most people it's probably best not to try.
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Postby brewcrew4you » Sat May 26, 2007 12:20 am

Staying friends only works if you both want to break up. If you have feelings for her still, do not under any circumstances agree to be friends, you are just setting yourself up for a world of heartbreak.




Unless she has some really hot friends you want to get with, then the only way you have a shot is if she gives it her blessing. :-D
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Postby Snakes Gould » Sat May 26, 2007 12:22 am

TheRock wrote:Dang, sorry to hear that ZIG. Didn't you pass up a couple hotties a while back for this girl?

I don't put much stock in any study about this, there are far too many variables to be captured. And happiness is a state you can control.

The most important thing is for you to find peace with this. That will take time. During that time, it is probably best if you don't see her. At all. But in the end you need to move on and harbor her no ill will. That does not mean you need to maintain any kind for relationship with her, and for most people it's probably best not to try.


not only that but a 3some!!! its a shame to hear it ZIG. its almost impossible to stay friends with an ex without A. banging her still B. wanting to bang her still. whats the point of being friends at this point other than what hort said, and thats to keep the door open for another run at it? nothing. especially if the breakup was bad/superficial.
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Postby GiantsFan14 » Sat May 26, 2007 4:59 am

hell no
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Postby bleach168 » Sat May 26, 2007 8:14 am

Move on, bro. The being friends thing never works out.
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Postby AcidRock23 » Sat May 26, 2007 8:39 am

wow, something everyone at the Café can agree on!! I can't disagree w/ that myself. I think that 'being' friends is a copout invented by females so make dumping us easier for them. "I'm not a witch, I told him we could be friends but he's being all wierd so it's not my fault" :-t
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Postby raiders_umpire » Sat May 26, 2007 9:34 am

bleach168 wrote:Move on, bro. The being friends thing never works out.



Yep. From all of my experiences in high school and early college, an ex never stayed a friend. Let them go and move on.
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Postby Lofunzo » Sat May 26, 2007 10:58 am

TheRock wrote:Dang, sorry to hear that ZIG. Didn't you pass up a couple hotties a while back for this girl?

I don't put much stock in any study about this, there are far too many variables to be captured. And happiness is a state you can control.

The most important thing is for you to find peace with this. That will take time. During that time, it is probably best if you don't see her. At all. But in the end you need to move on and harbor her no ill will. That does not mean you need to maintain any kind for relationship with her, and for most people it's probably best not to try.


That sums it up for me. Do whatever feels right but, at least for now, stay apart and then make the decision.
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